How to Believe in Yourself—Three Steps You Can Conquer

Believe in YourselfI remember my business coach telling me, “You have to believe in yourself more than others believe in you”, when I first started working with her last year.  Everyone experiences self-doubt at times.  Even I do sometimes.  I remember when I first spoke out against the prohibited personnel actions going on in the Veteran Affairs agency several years ago.  As soon as I filed charges against my management, I experienced severe work place bullying and retaliation.  At this time, I was also trying to encourage a good friend of mine from committing suicide due to their own workplace bullying.

My troubles began building as I was trying to down-size and sell my house.  My house flooded two times and my insurance company dropped me after paying me back for repairs of nearly $30k.   Now, the stress of all of this was starting to overwhelm me and I was feeling very discouraged at this time.  I had so much self-doubt at the time and wondered if I could conquer all my goals.  It took about nine months and a lot of up-grades to sell my house.  The house and property were very nice, but would appeal to only someone who loved being on the side of a hill and loved to garden—I mean a lot of gardening!   I thought that my troubles could not get any worse and then the Veteran Affairs disregarded my doctor’s recommendation of being allowed to work from my home computer.   I refused to go back to the Veteran Affairs, to a hostile work environment and my management cut off my pay.  Mind you, I was paying for an attorney and living hand-to-mouth at the time.

The story has a great ending!  My troubles and self-doubt were conquered.  I settled with the Veteran Affairs in March 2014.  One week after settling with the Veteran Affairs, I became a Life Coach and now show people how to become empowered.  As a Life Coach, I don’t provide the solutions, but help people to realize where they are “stuck” in their lives so they can get “unstuck”.   Once they see what is holding them back, I am able to assist them with reaching their goals.  This is what empowerment is about.   Life is full of choices and it’s up to us to choose wisely.  So, how do you believe in yourself more?

First, you must take 100% accountability in your life.   If you are selling yourself short—stop!  Be responsible and make sure you are being accountable in everything you do in this life.  When you know you are being responsible and honest with yourself, it’s hard not to believe in yourself and what you are doing. If you don’t like your job—change jobs!   Own up to the mistakes you make, but don’t beat yourself up!  Learn from your mistakes and make the right action to grow from them.   I learned that I did not have to earn four degrees (after I had earned them) to impress my dead grandmother who had a PhD.  I was smart, without even earning a degree.

Second, take a good look at yourself in the mirror.  Are you your own best friend or worst enemy? If you are cringing to look at yourself and realize you have low self-esteem, take steps to improve your self-esteem.  Lose weight, exercise, go to a support group for help or reach out to a modality that helps you “shift” out of your old patterns or belief system that has been holding you back.  Life coaching and hypnotherapy are excellent ways to help with confidence and breaking old patterns.  It saved my life and now I do it to help others so they can feel better about themselves and have more confidence.

Third, no matter what you faith is, you will find so many benefits in asking for the help you need.  I use to ask God to please “fix” things for me.  Now, I ask God to please help me to become the person I need to become, so I can handle/manage things better in my life.  I have seen so many “signs” in my life, which tell me I am not alone and I am much loved.   I will find a white feather out of the ordinary and last night my stand-up fan turned on by itself.  These are “signs” to me that I am much supported and never alone on this earth—never.   These “signs” get my attention and gently remind me to believe in myself and know I am always supported.  We all have the ability to see “signs” and know we are loved.   Sometimes, we just have to slow down and pay attention.  We are all on this earth for a reason and we must believe in ourselves so we can fulfill our destinies.  We can do this when we fully believe in ourselves and realize what we are capable of doing on this earth.  Each of us are very powerful in a meaningful way.

I would be happy to explain to you how life coaching and/or hypnotherapy can help you to believe more in yourself.  Book a complimentary 20 minute session with me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact

The Art and Science of Self-Care

Self careWe all know that burnt out feeling when we are tired or overwhelmed in our life.  It may come on slow, but it can really affect us personally and professionally when we are not taking good care of ourselves.  We rush, we scatter, and we are running with our heads cut off………We think it is the way to success, by always being busy and multi-tasking.  With all the conveniences we have today, we seem to be still on “overloaded” with work and activities.   No wonder we are so darn tired!

Self-care is about taking care of yourself and your needs.  I find that getting energy body work and massage to be very healing and grounding.  When I get regular energy work and massage, I am able to focus more on my practice and it recharges my energy.  Our bodies need regular care and if we do not practice self-care, we will end up feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, and not succeeding in all our endeavors.  I highly suggest that you make it a practice to get a massage, receive body work or experience a modality that helps your body to feel better.  The body heals itself, but it does count on us to make wise choices and to be good to ourselves.

You never want to think of self-care as a luxury.  It is not.  It is a necessity that will keep your body “fueled” and in a homeostasis manner.  Pay attention to the food that you put in your body.  Is it free of pesticides, herbicides, dyes, additives, chemicals etc.?  Our body was not designed to eat poisonous foods and drinks.  Are you overweight and depressed?  It is time to evaluate the self-care you are giving yourself.  Are you getting the necessary exercise you need?  Sometimes, it is as simple as taking a daily walk and experiencing the benefits of an active body in motion.  It is well known that people sleep better at night when they have a good exercise routine.

I encourage you to evaluate how you can incorporate self-care in your life.  One of the best ways to see how your life is changing is to journal each day.  You can later review your trends and your accomplishments.   Be good to yourself!  Not only do you deserve it, but your body needs it.  I find that getting regular massages and energy work to be the best self-care for my body.  It shows too.  I have accomplished so much more in my life and people notice the difference in me too.  I attribute it to being better at self-care and loving myself in a healthier way.

Did you know that hypnosis is a great way to provide your body with self-care.   Not only is it extremely relaxing, but it is very effective in being therapeutic for your body.  Check out my complimentary “relaxation” hypnosis/meditation video at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com  You will find it on the top right side of my home page.  Enjoy.  Relax.  You are on your way to self-care.

Step Into Your Personal Power

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Let’s face it!  Do you ever feel tired and out of energy?  Have you considered how your energy is leaking from you and leaving you empty?  Our minds are so powerful and our thoughts play a large role in how we view our world.   Our thoughts are the foundation to how we live and think.   Life is either good or bad according to our belief system.  We can control our thoughts and become a leader of our thoughts!  I encourage you to pay attention to your thoughts first thing in the morning.  If you keep them positive, your day will likely be more productive and cheerful.

How can you find more positivity in your life?

  • Change a negative thought to a positive thought
  • Surround your life with positive people and events
  • Do activities that make you happy
  • Cherish the simple pleasures in life–there are many out there
  • Be around people that make you feel good
  • Love yourself unconditionally–there is only one YOU!
  • Detach from negative people and events when possible

We can get so much support from positive people, but some people like drama and are energy vampires.   They enjoy the attention they receive being a victim or creating chaos.  We all know people who are like this. As a very sensitive person, who dislikes drama and chaos, I have to set boundaries with these kind of people. It’s not that they are bad.  I believe all people are good, but some are frightened and act out of fear.  These kind of people can “suck” out your energy in no time.   They want to tell you about all the drama in their life or they are continuously negative, which leaves you feeling fatigued and depleted.   While we all have our “bad” days, we need to keep things in prospective.  So what can you do to help yourself from getting “sucked in” by energy vampires and negative thoughts?

First, notice how you are feeling.  If you are feeling uncomfortable around a certain person, that is a sign that your energy is being compromised. This is a time to notice and take action!  Everyone deserves to be happy and respected.   If you are trying to grow personally or spiritually, you may want to evaluate the people you want in your life and environment.  While you may not have a choice in some matters, you can choose your companions and friends wisely.  You also have a choice in your thoughts.  If you catch yourself thinking negatively, imagine placing your negative thoughts in a helium balloon and releasing it so it can be removed from you.  Bring in positive and nurturing thoughts that support you.

Second, it takes courage to “cut-off” people who continue to barrage you with their drama and chaos.  I encourage supporting people who need an “ear” or emotional support.  We all need to take responsibility and be accountable for 100% of our lives.  So, when a person is not willing to be responsible and take appropriate actions for their life, they are willing to stay in a place that may not be beneficial to them.  I realize that we all “slip” sometimes–even I fall short sometimes and get “de-railed”.   I am far from perfect and I have gotten caught up in other people’s drama schemes by trying to help them, while they are not taking any responsibility for their own lives.   Rescuing people does not  help them if they are willing to stay a victim of their own life.

None of us know how long we will be on this earth and how life will unfold each day. However, we have a lot of power in having positive thoughts and friends.  I am sharing a wonderful story that reminds me I have a choice in my life–to be happy or to be unhappy.  I chose to being happy and be responsible for my life. Life is good.

Good Wolf Bad Wolf

A traditional Native American story describes a boy who was feeling angry and upset at an injustice, who goes to his old Grandfather for advice. The Grandfather tells the boy that he, too has felt these feelings of hate and anger. The Grandfather shares that he has also realized how these feelings have no effect on his enemy, but they do cause him great pain.

“It is as if I have two wolves living inside me,” says the Grandfather. “One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.”

“But the other wolf,” Grandfather continues, “fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. The smallest thing will send him into a fury. He cannot think because his anger and rage are so great; however for all its fury, his anger changes nothing.

“Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looks into his Grandfather’s eyes and asks, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

His grandfather replies, “Whichever one I feed.”

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Don’t be a Prisoner of the Past

ForgiveHealing-Thyme-Services.pngHealing-Thyme-Services.pngI am constantly asked to give a healing session to someone in physical or mental pain. Nothing brings me greater joy than to give healing energy or hypnotherapy to someone in need.   As a young adult, I felt a strong calling to help people heal and feel better about themselves.  As a healing practitioner and hypnotherapist, I hear a lot of concerns about mental anguish and physical pain in clients.   I believe we stay ill or become ill because we are not letting go of our painful past and hurts.

Often I hear about traumatic events or people who have harmed others.  While this is very disheartening, we have to be able to forgive and live a life where we are happy and sharing our gifts to others.   Life is meant to be lived!  I learned to forgive so I could find inner peace.   There is no greater gift than inner peace and harmony. One thing I have noticed is that many clients and acquaintances who are suffering with health ailments are carrying baggage they should release.   The baggage is a painful past, perhaps someone has hurt them or they have experienced harm.  While I am not condoning bad behavior or mistreatment by others, I do advocate the health benefits of forgiving those who have hurt us.  Sometimes the person you may need to forgive is your own self.

Storing negative or toxic thoughts is harmful to our well-being.  Would you purposely want negativity to be stored in your body?  Holding on to grudges or feeling angry at someone can only create harm to our bodies.  Holding on to beliefs or thoughts that don’t serve you are called a non-serving belief.  What is a non-serving belief? It is a belief that you have “bought into” that may not be “serving” you or benefiting you. It may be holding you back from being successful or happy in your life.  Holding on to anger or being resentful about a past hurt can hold you back from being happy and healthy.  We all deserve to be happy.

Being upset at someone keeps us a prisoner of our thoughts.  Be a leader of your thoughts!  So, how did I start letting go of “non-serving” or toxic beliefs that were holding me back and keeping me unhappy? I got to the point where I was sick and tired of being “sick and tired”.   I no longer wanted to be a “victim” and I wanted to be empowered.  I began working on my own spiritual growth and personally chose hypnotherapy or hypnosis so I could begin to “break free” of the hurts in my past. I found great success in letting go of non-serving  beliefs and becoming a happier person.  It begins with forgiving our past and living our future.   People who forgive enjoy happier and healthier lives.