Tag Archive for: Bully

Kind People Can Stand Up to Bullying

According to The Bully Institute, http://www.workplacebullying.org/tag/bullying-statistics/ the person who gets targeted the most in the workplace is the person who is considered kind and compassionate. Yikes, what if that is you in the workplace? Well, it was me when I worked in the Midatlantic Consolidated Patient Accounting Center (MACPAC), which is a Veteran Affairs organization in West Asheville, North Carolina.  Years ago, when I worked there,  I was asked by my former management to run an employee assistance program that would help MACPAC employees when they had economic issues that would come up. I was known for my “humanitarian” skills and for caring about other people.

Even though I consider myself a kind and compassionate person, I am a no-nonsense person when it comes to bullying or any kind of mistreatment in the workplace. Everyone is entitled to work in a safe environment and where they are treated with respect. After working 20 years in the Air Force as a female, I learned to be assertive when needed. That skill has come in handy many times in my life. I have never had a problem in being a “nice” person, but you must do so with healthy boundaries too. Let me explain. While I am a nice person, I held my bullies accountable and reported them to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and “settled” in March 2014. I held my “ground” and had great documentation—I “settled” with the Veteran Affairs without a “gag order” that would prevent me from telling my story. How often do you hear about that? You can be nice and you can also stand in your “personal power”.

Your presence and your demeanor tells everyone how you feel about yourself. If you carry yourself with dignity and grace, that is the way you are generally perceived by others. Bullies, who generally have low self-esteem, can pick up your energy and know that you may be an easy target to harass. They generally go after the people they deem as weak.  I realize that there are many kind and “sensitive” souls who have dealt with hardships in their life—divorce, death, bullying, etc. It’s part of your own journey to become your greatest self, but only if you learn your lessons or experience self-growth from these experiences.

If your old “stories” are “owning” you, instead of you “owning” your old stories, then it’s time to heal your past. Nurturing old wounds and not healing them is a sure way to stay small and stuck in your life. You must let go of your “hurtful” past so you can fully live the life you deserve! You can reach out to a trusted clergy person, a coach, mentor, therapist or anyone who is reputable and will help you heal your past. If you want to be truly “free” in your life, you must forgive the perpetrators in your life and let go of your old “stories”. You are forgiving them for your own “healthy” reasons—to move on with your life and heal.

I spent many years dealing with self-loathing and insecurities because I was molested as a young child. After I dealt with forgiving the perpetrator and working on my own self-development, I really found my “inner strength” and began to realize I could now help others because I am on the “other” side. I will admit—it was not easy, but it was worth it! In the past, I have lived in fancy houses and had many materialistic things in my life, but I was not happy. I had attracted an “alcoholic” into my life and my home felt like a “prison” back in those days.   I did not realize at that time, that I was looking through the “lens” of a victim and someone who had not found their “personal power”.   I had attracted many negative things in my life because I had felt “hopeless” and very insecure back then. That has changed, because I took 100% charge of my life and began to “cut” out negative people out of my life as much as possible. I carefully discern on who I want as friends today and it really makes a big difference for me. Today, I have never had more “freedom” and peace in my life. You deserve it too!

Let me share a webinar, which is now a video, I made about “Commanding Respect in Your Life”. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oV12-pzac4   More free resources at  www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com

 

dawns-book-cover

 

 

 

Are You Your Own Biggest Bully? Five Tips for “Overcoming”

We are always hearing about how others are bullied. This can happen at work, at home, or just about anywhere. It is a fact and it does exist in our society. However, I believe that often we can become our own worst enemy or bully. You may not even realize that you are your own worst bully. If you are sabotaging yourself by thinking small or living small, you may be your own worst enemy. I often get asked how did I overcome severe bullying and other tragic events in my life. I have dealt with bullying, sexual abuse, and domestic abuse, but it does not own me anymore. I was sick and tired, of being sick and tired and I learned how to overcome all of it.

The first tip I offer is to take 100% accountability in your life. You must rescue yourself and believe in yourself more than others believe in you. Complaining to others about how bad things are in your life does not solve the problem. You must learn how to “own “your story, not your story “own “you. Self-care is vital for you to empower yourself. That means eating right, exercising and filling your life with things that nurture your body and soul. This could be meditation, yoga, walking, reading or any activity that really nourishes you.
The second tip I’ll share with you is to take a look at all the negativity around you. Are you contributing to it? Are the people you surround yourself with positive and nurturing people? If you are around a lot of negativity, that will keep you stuck at the lowest level possible in your life. Think about your thoughts. Are they positive or negative? If they are negative, you will find that attracts other negative people and negative events in your life. This does not mean walking around with the permanent silly smile on your face, but really engaging in conversation and actions that propel you forward in a healthier life.
Third, many successful people get ahead by investing in themselves. For example, I hired a business coach to move ahead. My business coach has a business coach. Her business coach has a business coach and so on and so on. We all believe in ourselves and want to get ahead in a successful way. What can you be doing to invest in yourself at this time? Is it getting more education, training, hire a professional to help you move ahead in your life? Quality does not cost. It pays. Be sure to invest in yourself so you are moving in the right direction of your life.
Fourth, life is about choices. No one has a gun at our heads stating we must stay in a job we hate, to stay in an unhealthy relationship or put up with people treating us badly. Remember you can always consider other options that would be better for you. There are plenty of resources out there that can help anyone. If you stay in an unhealthy job or situation, it is your choice. We have no one to blame, but ourselves if we are not making wise choices for ourselves. Is it really worth your happiness and health to remain in a bad situation? We always have choices in our life. Be careful not to give away your personal power by depending too much on others all the time. There is a time and place for when we need help from others. Be wise and remember all the answers are truly within us. Everyone has an opinion, but only you know what is best for you.  Make the choice to “listen” to your own voice and thoughts.
Fifth, our thoughts form our belief system. Is your thoughts constructive and positive? Are they serving you well and moving you forward in your life? We get to choose our thoughts too. We can also change or shift our thoughts if they are not serving us well. If you find this hard to do, you may find that hypnosis or hypnotherapy or life coaching can help you to overcome bad habits, bad patterns or negativity in your life. Life coaching and hypnotherapy helped me to overcome many of the tragedies in my life. It can help you gain confidence, self-love, self-respect and break through all that is holding you back from moving fast forward, in a happier manner. We all truly deserve this in our life.
Empowerment Speaker

“Break-Free” Agent Dawn Marie Westmoreland shares about “overcoming” your old stories and how to “own” them.

The more you can master the steps, the better you will feel about yourself, your energy levels will increase, and you will notice that you attract like-minded people in your life based on the energy you project. Always ask yourself, “what is the best thing I can be doing for myself at this time?” When you step into your own personal power, you realize that you are no longer bothered by your old story because you now are “owning” your story. Life looks a whole lot better too. Let’s release what does not serve us best and embrace 2015 with everything that serves us well and enhances our lives.

Services

Blog

About Dawn

Tag Archive for: Bully

Kind People Can Stand Up to Bullying

According to The Bully Institute, http://www.workplacebullying.org/tag/bullying-statistics/ the person who gets targeted the most in the workplace is the person who is considered kind and compassionate. Yikes, what if that is you in the workplace? Well, it was me when I worked in the Midatlantic Consolidated Patient Accounting Center (MACPAC), which is a Veteran Affairs organization in West Asheville, North Carolina.  Years ago, when I worked there,  I was asked by my former management to run an employee assistance program that would help MACPAC employees when they had economic issues that would come up. I was known for my “humanitarian” skills and for caring about other people.

Even though I consider myself a kind and compassionate person, I am a no-nonsense person when it comes to bullying or any kind of mistreatment in the workplace. Everyone is entitled to work in a safe environment and where they are treated with respect. After working 20 years in the Air Force as a female, I learned to be assertive when needed. That skill has come in handy many times in my life. I have never had a problem in being a “nice” person, but you must do so with healthy boundaries too. Let me explain. While I am a nice person, I held my bullies accountable and reported them to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and “settled” in March 2014. I held my “ground” and had great documentation—I “settled” with the Veteran Affairs without a “gag order” that would prevent me from telling my story. How often do you hear about that? You can be nice and you can also stand in your “personal power”.

Your presence and your demeanor tells everyone how you feel about yourself. If you carry yourself with dignity and grace, that is the way you are generally perceived by others. Bullies, who generally have low self-esteem, can pick up your energy and know that you may be an easy target to harass. They generally go after the people they deem as weak.  I realize that there are many kind and “sensitive” souls who have dealt with hardships in their life—divorce, death, bullying, etc. It’s part of your own journey to become your greatest self, but only if you learn your lessons or experience self-growth from these experiences.

If your old “stories” are “owning” you, instead of you “owning” your old stories, then it’s time to heal your past. Nurturing old wounds and not healing them is a sure way to stay small and stuck in your life. You must let go of your “hurtful” past so you can fully live the life you deserve! You can reach out to a trusted clergy person, a coach, mentor, therapist or anyone who is reputable and will help you heal your past. If you want to be truly “free” in your life, you must forgive the perpetrators in your life and let go of your old “stories”. You are forgiving them for your own “healthy” reasons—to move on with your life and heal.

I spent many years dealing with self-loathing and insecurities because I was molested as a young child. After I dealt with forgiving the perpetrator and working on my own self-development, I really found my “inner strength” and began to realize I could now help others because I am on the “other” side. I will admit—it was not easy, but it was worth it! In the past, I have lived in fancy houses and had many materialistic things in my life, but I was not happy. I had attracted an “alcoholic” into my life and my home felt like a “prison” back in those days.   I did not realize at that time, that I was looking through the “lens” of a victim and someone who had not found their “personal power”.   I had attracted many negative things in my life because I had felt “hopeless” and very insecure back then. That has changed, because I took 100% charge of my life and began to “cut” out negative people out of my life as much as possible. I carefully discern on who I want as friends today and it really makes a big difference for me. Today, I have never had more “freedom” and peace in my life. You deserve it too!

Let me share a webinar, which is now a video, I made about “Commanding Respect in Your Life”. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oV12-pzac4   More free resources at  www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com

 

dawns-book-cover

 

 

 

Are You Your Own Biggest Bully? Five Tips for “Overcoming”

We are always hearing about how others are bullied. This can happen at work, at home, or just about anywhere. It is a fact and it does exist in our society. However, I believe that often we can become our own worst enemy or bully. You may not even realize that you are your own worst bully. If you are sabotaging yourself by thinking small or living small, you may be your own worst enemy. I often get asked how did I overcome severe bullying and other tragic events in my life. I have dealt with bullying, sexual abuse, and domestic abuse, but it does not own me anymore. I was sick and tired, of being sick and tired and I learned how to overcome all of it.

The first tip I offer is to take 100% accountability in your life. You must rescue yourself and believe in yourself more than others believe in you. Complaining to others about how bad things are in your life does not solve the problem. You must learn how to “own “your story, not your story “own “you. Self-care is vital for you to empower yourself. That means eating right, exercising and filling your life with things that nurture your body and soul. This could be meditation, yoga, walking, reading or any activity that really nourishes you.
The second tip I’ll share with you is to take a look at all the negativity around you. Are you contributing to it? Are the people you surround yourself with positive and nurturing people? If you are around a lot of negativity, that will keep you stuck at the lowest level possible in your life. Think about your thoughts. Are they positive or negative? If they are negative, you will find that attracts other negative people and negative events in your life. This does not mean walking around with the permanent silly smile on your face, but really engaging in conversation and actions that propel you forward in a healthier life.
Third, many successful people get ahead by investing in themselves. For example, I hired a business coach to move ahead. My business coach has a business coach. Her business coach has a business coach and so on and so on. We all believe in ourselves and want to get ahead in a successful way. What can you be doing to invest in yourself at this time? Is it getting more education, training, hire a professional to help you move ahead in your life? Quality does not cost. It pays. Be sure to invest in yourself so you are moving in the right direction of your life.
Fourth, life is about choices. No one has a gun at our heads stating we must stay in a job we hate, to stay in an unhealthy relationship or put up with people treating us badly. Remember you can always consider other options that would be better for you. There are plenty of resources out there that can help anyone. If you stay in an unhealthy job or situation, it is your choice. We have no one to blame, but ourselves if we are not making wise choices for ourselves. Is it really worth your happiness and health to remain in a bad situation? We always have choices in our life. Be careful not to give away your personal power by depending too much on others all the time. There is a time and place for when we need help from others. Be wise and remember all the answers are truly within us. Everyone has an opinion, but only you know what is best for you.  Make the choice to “listen” to your own voice and thoughts.
Fifth, our thoughts form our belief system. Is your thoughts constructive and positive? Are they serving you well and moving you forward in your life? We get to choose our thoughts too. We can also change or shift our thoughts if they are not serving us well. If you find this hard to do, you may find that hypnosis or hypnotherapy or life coaching can help you to overcome bad habits, bad patterns or negativity in your life. Life coaching and hypnotherapy helped me to overcome many of the tragedies in my life. It can help you gain confidence, self-love, self-respect and break through all that is holding you back from moving fast forward, in a happier manner. We all truly deserve this in our life.
Empowerment Speaker

“Break-Free” Agent Dawn Marie Westmoreland shares about “overcoming” your old stories and how to “own” them.

The more you can master the steps, the better you will feel about yourself, your energy levels will increase, and you will notice that you attract like-minded people in your life based on the energy you project. Always ask yourself, “what is the best thing I can be doing for myself at this time?” When you step into your own personal power, you realize that you are no longer bothered by your old story because you now are “owning” your story. Life looks a whole lot better too. Let’s release what does not serve us best and embrace 2015 with everything that serves us well and enhances our lives.

Services

Blog

About Dawn