Tag Archive for: love

“Loving the Unlovable”–tips on empowerment

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What a title! Can you relate? I sure can! I bet you know of someone in your life that drives you crazy and you would rather avoid them, then deal with their trauma and drama. When this person(s) enters the room, you feel your blood boil, your stomach cramp or you feel nauseous because this person can be very manipulative or narcistic. They may even be an “energy vampire” too, the kind of person that “drains” your energy with their presence and behavior, I have dealt with this experience myself and use to lose a lot of sleep over the raDawn pic for Newlife64ntings and manipulative behavior of a “energy vampire”. This person drove me crazy with rage and disgust because I felt they were continuously taking advantage of a loved one.

I realized that my “clairsentience”, which is intuition in the form of emotional input, gut feeling or physical feeling and my “Claircognizance”, which is when intuitive information just pops into your head, was developing and I had a sense of “knowing” about things and people. It drove me nuts and I wanted others to experience these insights like I did. We all have intuitive gifts. They are different for each person, but we all have intuitive gifts. It’s a matter of accepting these “gifts” and be open to them too. Once you are, be ready for your “gifts”.   These tools are invaluable if used correctly and they can be of great benefit in your personal life and business. I don’t claim to be psychic, but have different levels of intuitive “gifts” and I am grateful for them. I love using my “gifts” to help others.

Getting back to the “unlovable” people in your life. It has taken me many years to realize that these people can be the greatest “spiritual teachers” in your life. I have suffered and anguished over these kinds of people, until I was able to “let go” and trust that there is a reason for “unlovable” people in my life. They can teach you patience, standing up for yourself, and trusting that they are in your life for a “divine” reason. They can bring you closer to God or whatever source you are close to and they can also provide the best lessons in life. The “unlovable” are in your life for a reason—take time to discern over this and realize you have the opportunity of improving your spirituality and personal growth.  You get to choose and life is all about choices. I continually repeat this in most of my blogs.

The “unlovable” can come into your loved ones lives to teach them lessons and even you.   Since “like” attracts “like”, it can bring a narcistic/manipulative person to a person who has low self-esteem and may continually get treated with dis-respect. Once you are able to raise your energy levels and find self-respect, you will notice that the people in your life are “matching” your energy levels and your self-esteem.   That is why it is so important to work on self-development so you can experience the best relationships with others in your life.   Until then, you must set healthy “boundaries” in your life. That simply means that you cannot allow others to dis-respect you and take advantage of you. I love Doreen Virtue’s new book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels”. I have read this book twice and highly recommend it to others who deal with “unlovable” people. Once you know how to deal with all kinds of people, life gets less messy and uncomplicated. Until you stand up for yourself and show your own self some R.E.S.P.E.C.T., you may find yourself repeating old behaviors that attract the “unlovable” in your life.

Now, I know we cannot pick our family members, but we can choose our friends very wisely. The five people we hang out with the most each day will have a profound effect on you. They will affect you personally, financially, and spiritually. Don’t beat yourself up on past experiences with “unlovable” people. Just learn the “lessons”, become more empowered and never stop growing—spiritually.   The worst people in my life have helped me to get closer to God and improve my own spirituality. Now, that is empowering! The “unlovable” can be loved, but sometimes it may have to be at a distance and with a lot of praying for ease and grace to be in your life.   Just remember they teach you many things in your life. They are not a challenge to you, but an opportunity to learn and grow. So, let it happen!

Who Stole Your “Personal Power” from You?  Five Tips for Recovery

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Dawn Westmoreland Full size picture(2)Are you constantly worried about what others think of you or that you won’t fit in with certain groups?  Do you “give in” easily to other people’s demands or you have given up hope that you will ever be truly heard?   As human beings in a spiritual body, I know that many of you have experienced it—giving away your “personal power”.    You have taken the unappreciative comments from another person or you have felt “isolated even though you are in a crowd of people.  It’s one of the worst feelings in the world.

Garbage men are often looked down upon from some people who feel they have achieved a “higher” status in life.  When I lived in Southern France for eight months, the garbage men went on strike for higher pay and better “holiday” time off.  I will never ever forget it.  They went on strike for one month and refused to pick up any trash till they got their demands.  I will not describe the smell or tell you what it looked like.  We all know what kitchens smell like if we don’t get the trash out in a timely manner.  Those garbage men got everything they wanted and I must say, I was secretly impressed and happy for them.

So often we give away our “personal power” and don’t realize why we are not being treated with respect.   You must believe in yourself, more than others believe in you.  If you are not being treated with respect, there may be a chance that you don’t respect your own self.  Hey it happens!  Been there myself and got the tee-shirt.  I also burned that darn tee-shirt a while ago.  I learned the hard way to find my own self-love and self-respect.   I am always excited to help others find it a whole lot faster than I did.  It’s time to burn that tee-shirt if you have it.  Let’s dive in and take action to stop giving away your “personal power”.

First,   Part of being a human being is feeling valued, appreciated, and having a sense of belonging.  There is no one on this earth that is more valuable than you or deserves more than you do.  That’s right!  We are all God’ children and if you have a different faith or belief, than choose your “source”.  Slow down a little in your life and notice the “signs” that are always there that tell you that you are connected to the divine and you are never ever alone on this earth.   I am constantly finding these “signs” and it was only when I really slowed down that I began to notice them.   Are you going so fast that you need to take yourself off of autopilot? Our society has conditioned us to go-go-go all the time and many times you are just being “busy” and really not as productive as you would like to be in your life.

Second, on this earth, you must put yourself first, before others.  There are so many people “serving” others and they are burning out because they are not nurturing themselves and practicing self-care.  Compare it to driving a car for a long time and not maintaining it.  The car will break down eventually because it was not maintained.  You must fulfill your needs first, so you can respond and care for others.  You may be more “driven” or motivated than your spouse or partner, you cannot change them, but you can change yourself.   And you must take action to fulfill your future or you will most likely experience being “uncomfortable” or that things are not working out the way you want them to be.  Sometimes we have to experience misery or being uncomfortable so that we are “prompted” to be in alignment with our life purpose.  This is no joke.  Being in the mental health ward for three days was the best “gift” ever for me.  I realized I was working in a job that was totally unfulfilling and working with people who had very low energies.   It “shifted” me quickly to train in a year-long program to be a Life Coach.  What a “gift”!

Third, stop worrying what others will think of you.  They are responsible for their actions and emotions.   You must be fair and considerate to others, as it is always the right thing to do.  If you compassionately share some unpleasant news and the other person cries or gets mad, it probably means that they have some “unresolved” issues in their life that they need to heal or resolve.  They may have been hurt in the past from a bad experience and it is still “unresolved” and eating away at them.  Each of us has to “heal” ourselves and make amends with issues that have harmed or hurt us.  We cannot “will” away some one else’s hurt or pain.  We can be there for them and show support, but we cannot do the work for them.  There is no magic pill.  Healing or forgiving others can be hard work, but definitely worth it in the long run.

Fourth, if you are seeking answers from everyone else, but yourself.  Stop it right now!   You have an opinion and an “expert adviser” in you for many of the answers you are seeking.  Stop asking someone else about how you should handle your affairs, unless you are seeking professional advice that you truly need.  I see this over and over with people. They will ask me what I think about a matter involving them.   I will turn it around in an empowering question and ask, “How are you giving away your personal power” to me when you know better than I, what is best for you.  I never give advice to people.  I will provide information that could be valuable to them, but want others to feel empowered because they become their own leader and take charge of their life.  Think about it yourself—how do you give away your own “personal power”?  When you realize it–that is the first step.   Now take appropriate action for yourself.

Fifth, I use to run track in high school.  I was pretty good too.  I was running a race and I looked back and that was all it took to slow me down and the other runner won the race.  I was so disappointed in myself that day.  My coach and my mother told me later, that if I had not looked back, I would have won the race. How often are you comparing yourself with others or you are feeling insecure because someone is further down the “track” than where you are at this time?  Often times, people who are successful will open up their wings more and take more risks in life.   They don’t play small and they are competing against themselves so they can be their very best.  Just keep your eyes on the goal and outcome you want in life. Stop comparing yourself and getting upset if someone else is doing better than you.  They have bad days too!  Consider this—what is the most loving and empowering thing you can do today, to help you achieve your goals or live the life you deserve?

I am about to create a “confidence” hypnosis/meditation MP3 soon.   If you have never experienced hypnosis—it’s simply a guided meditation designed to relax you while you benefit from suggestions provided.   If you want to get a copy, be sure to sign up for my newsletter.   I offer complimentary products from time to time, and only in my newsletter.  Sign up for my newsletter at http://eepurl.com/8vFN1   The “confidence” MP3 will be included in my next newsletter.

Here is to your “Empowerment” and a great week!

Warmly,

Dawn Westmoreland

 My web site        Twitter        LinkedIn         Facebook

Five Reasons Why I Was Able to Overcome My Miserable Life

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Dawn and VirtueWe all experience miserable life experiences from time to time.  We may get a divorce, a spouse lets us down or we absolutely hate our job.  I could go on and on about miserable experiences, however, I would rather share my experience with you about “overcoming”.    When you are able to “own” your old stories, instead of your old stories “owning” you, empowerment and liberation prevails.   It is that simple.  Why live in misery, when you can feel better about your life and your circumstances.  Let’s go ahead and jump in and take action to “overcome” the misery we experience at times.

First, every experience in your life is a growing opportunity for you.  I had an experience a couple of years ago where I felt another person had demeaned me after they asked me what I had been up to lately.  I then shared with this person some of the rougher parts of my week. Their comments back to me were very harsh and cut me to threads at the time.  I actually cried because those comments made me feel so small and unappreciated.  I later realized that I had received a “gift” from this person because the experience reminded me of being a young child and getting a verbal lashing from my grandmother.  My grandmother was very stern and had grown up in an orphanage.  She was a very good person, but gave very tough love to me.  I never realized that I had unresolved issues with my grandmother.  The experience of receiving unkind and cutting words helped me to realize I needed to heal the past with my grandmother.  What an eye-opener and a gift for me!  I made peace with my grandmother, who has been dead for many years.  I no longer get as “triggered” by unkind people.  I fixed that problem.

Two, my life felt out of control and I was barely keeping up with my own self-care.  When you work too much and neglect taking care of yourself—you are going to pay a high price.  Your mental and physical health may begin to decline.    I experienced this myself when I ended up in the VA Mental Health ward for three days.  I neglected myself and wore myself out working too many hours on my two court cases against the Veteran Affairs.  The stress and my own neglect on self-care got me a three day stay in the Mental Health ward.   Not fun and the food really sucked there too!  Today, I schedule in self-care in my daily calendar.   I meditate, pray, get massages, receive energy work from a friend, and fit in the best thing I can afford to do, that helps me when I need it.

Three, we always have choices in our life. Have you ever looked back and realized you may have not made a good choice?  We all do!  For example, I had a consultation on the phone the other day with a female who had “bought in” to the fact that she should follow her parent’s advice for her career path. This was a truly gifted lady who wanted to work more in the “arts” and not work a boring job just for the benefits.   She was suffering from so much guilt and wanted the freedom to be herself and work in jobs that were more to her taste.  As children we may become conditioned by our parents who really love us and want the best for us.  However, when we become adults, we are giving away our “personal power” when we let others control our lives.  Most of us have been guilty of this at one time or another.   I use to give away my “personal power” all the time by trying to fit in with others or by trying to please others too much.   Today, it is much easier for me to “catch” myself before I give away my “personal power”.   I have my own choices to make and I am 100% accountable to myself. I encourage you to look at how you have given away your own “personal power” and make a decision to love and respect yourself more.

Fourth, can you think of someone who takes advantage of you or someone who is always complaining?  Don’t they just suck the energy out of you?  Some people call them Energy Vampires.  As I said earlier, we all get to make choices in our lives.  I found the best way to handle these kind of people is to set boundaries in our lives.  You don’t have to let another person abuse you or make you their sounding board.  Setting healthy boundaries with another person can be as easy as telling a negative person that you would rather not hear them complain about their life all the time. You could ask them to start telling you positive aspects of their life or avoid them as much as possible.  I often do this when I experience constant negative outbursts from people.   I also enjoy reading and recommend “Assertiveness for Earth Angels”, which is a book from Doreen Virtue.   This book describes many different kinds of personalities people have and how to become more assertive with each one.

Five, you must show up for your life.  If you are just riding the roller coaster of life and you are not in control, it is time to be accountable to yourself.  If your spending is out of control, get professional help.  If you can’t stand up for yourself, hire a life coach or hypnotherapist who can help you become more empowered in your life.   The worst thing you can do is think you cannot afford it.   The real truth is you cannot afford not to get help.  The real expense could come in the form of debt that financially drains you or an expensive divorce that drains you financially and emotionally.   You must invest in yourself and your life.  I do—I work with a business coach, who also has a coach and so on and so on…..  You always want to work with someone reputable that is doing better than you are at the time.  This way you are learning and growing. It has really paid off for me in so many ways.   I have made sacrifices to work with a coach so I could achieve the results I wanted, in a much faster manner than if I had done it on my own.   It was well worth it and I encourage you to invest in yourself so you can obtain the results you want in a faster manner.   My life is now happier, more peaceful, and I am excited to be a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist, who gets to help others become empowered.  We all deserve to have happy and have empowered lives.

If you feel kinda “stuck” in your life and need a “break-through”, request a complimentary 20 minute strategy consultation with me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact

Here is one of my testimonials—“Dawn helped me to “break free” of some emotional baggage that was stuck for quite some time. It was quite surprising at first, but a calming sense of grounding and peace followed. Her loving energy made me feel nourished and focused. Wonderful experience. Will have to do it again!”

How to Believe in Yourself—Three Steps You Can Conquer

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Believe in YourselfI remember my business coach telling me, “You have to believe in yourself more than others believe in you”, when I first started working with her last year.  Everyone experiences self-doubt at times.  Even I do sometimes.  I remember when I first spoke out against the prohibited personnel actions going on in the Veteran Affairs agency several years ago.  As soon as I filed charges against my management, I experienced severe work place bullying and retaliation.  At this time, I was also trying to encourage a good friend of mine from committing suicide due to their own workplace bullying.

My troubles began building as I was trying to down-size and sell my house.  My house flooded two times and my insurance company dropped me after paying me back for repairs of nearly $30k.   Now, the stress of all of this was starting to overwhelm me and I was feeling very discouraged at this time.  I had so much self-doubt at the time and wondered if I could conquer all my goals.  It took about nine months and a lot of up-grades to sell my house.  The house and property were very nice, but would appeal to only someone who loved being on the side of a hill and loved to garden—I mean a lot of gardening!   I thought that my troubles could not get any worse and then the Veteran Affairs disregarded my doctor’s recommendation of being allowed to work from my home computer.   I refused to go back to the Veteran Affairs, to a hostile work environment and my management cut off my pay.  Mind you, I was paying for an attorney and living hand-to-mouth at the time.

The story has a great ending!  My troubles and self-doubt were conquered.  I settled with the Veteran Affairs in March 2014.  One week after settling with the Veteran Affairs, I became a Life Coach and now show people how to become empowered.  As a Life Coach, I don’t provide the solutions, but help people to realize where they are “stuck” in their lives so they can get “unstuck”.   Once they see what is holding them back, I am able to assist them with reaching their goals.  This is what empowerment is about.   Life is full of choices and it’s up to us to choose wisely.  So, how do you believe in yourself more?

First, you must take 100% accountability in your life.   If you are selling yourself short—stop!  Be responsible and make sure you are being accountable in everything you do in this life.  When you know you are being responsible and honest with yourself, it’s hard not to believe in yourself and what you are doing. If you don’t like your job—change jobs!   Own up to the mistakes you make, but don’t beat yourself up!  Learn from your mistakes and make the right action to grow from them.   I learned that I did not have to earn four degrees (after I had earned them) to impress my dead grandmother who had a PhD.  I was smart, without even earning a degree.

Second, take a good look at yourself in the mirror.  Are you your own best friend or worst enemy? If you are cringing to look at yourself and realize you have low self-esteem, take steps to improve your self-esteem.  Lose weight, exercise, go to a support group for help or reach out to a modality that helps you “shift” out of your old patterns or belief system that has been holding you back.  Life coaching and hypnotherapy are excellent ways to help with confidence and breaking old patterns.  It saved my life and now I do it to help others so they can feel better about themselves and have more confidence.

Third, no matter what you faith is, you will find so many benefits in asking for the help you need.  I use to ask God to please “fix” things for me.  Now, I ask God to please help me to become the person I need to become, so I can handle/manage things better in my life.  I have seen so many “signs” in my life, which tell me I am not alone and I am much loved.   I will find a white feather out of the ordinary and last night my stand-up fan turned on by itself.  These are “signs” to me that I am much supported and never alone on this earth—never.   These “signs” get my attention and gently remind me to believe in myself and know I am always supported.  We all have the ability to see “signs” and know we are loved.   Sometimes, we just have to slow down and pay attention.  We are all on this earth for a reason and we must believe in ourselves so we can fulfill our destinies.  We can do this when we fully believe in ourselves and realize what we are capable of doing on this earth.  Each of us are very powerful in a meaningful way.

I would be happy to explain to you how life coaching and/or hypnotherapy can help you to believe more in yourself.  Book a complimentary 20 minute session with me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact