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What Government Employee Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

December 20, 2015/1 Comment/in Uncategorized/by Dawn Westmoreland

Let’s face it, depending on whose statistics you use, government workplace bullying is on the rise. According to http://www.forbes.com/sites/naomishavin/2014/06/25/what-work-place-bullying-looks-like-in-2014-and-how-to-intervene/ “96% of American employees experience bullying in the workplace, and the nature of that bullying is changing”. Workplace bullying creates a hostile workplace that is devoid of a safe and respectful work environment. Bullied employees can hardly put out their best work when they are under so much stress. Then they may face disciplinary action because they are not working up to mandated work standards. Talk about stress and feeling like a ‘victim’! Holding government workplace bullies accountable can be hard, but I can make it a little easier for you. Let me share five tips for dealing with workplace bullying so you employ these tips and have a better outcome.

The first tip is to document your workplace bullying. I created a video that explains it further at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1ZrLOMccHg This video explains the importance of why and how you should document workplace bullying. I was able to ‘settle’ with the Veteran Affairs (VA) in March 2014 because I had ‘solid” documentation that supported my case of retaliation for being a VA “Whistleblower”. Two days before my Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) hearing, the VA attorneys were willing to ‘settle’ with me. I won an emotional victory as I can now write and talk about my own bullying story to help others because I refused to sign a “gag-order” that would keep me from sharing my story.

Second, be mindful that most government Human Resource departments are part of management. If you are being bullied by management, you are also addressing your bullying situation with your management. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but you should be aware of your organization’s structure. Every government agency is required to have information on their bulletin boards such as job safety/health, Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA), and Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) information, etc., that comply with government requirements. Here is more information on Equal Employment Opportunity rights: http://www.dol.gov/ofccp/regs/compliance/posters/pdf/eeopost.pdf Be aware of your rights and who to contact if they are being violated. For example, if you file a discrimination report with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) for race, color, religion, sex, national origin, disability, age, sex or genetics, you must file within 45 days of the occurrence or the claim may not be accepted.

Third, federal laws prohibit covered entities from retaliating against a person who files a charge of discrimination, participates in a discrimination proceeding, or otherwise opposes an unlawful employment practice. If you have filed an EEO case or have submitted prohibited personnel information to the Office of Special Counsel (OSC) and receive retaliation from your workplace, you are entitled to report the alleged allegations within 45 days for retaliation of you filing a grievance. Often times, the retaliation case may be combined with your initial reported case, for ease of processing and time guidelines. Be sure to report each occurrence of retaliation within 45 days or it may not be accepted. Note: Winning a discrimination case can be tough, however, if you are retaliated against and have good evidence or documentation, you may end up winning or settling on your ‘retaliation’ case because you are in a ‘protected status’ for filing your claim.

Fourth, often times there is very little disciplinary action done against government perpetrators. For example, the Concerned Veterans for America (CVA) has taken action to employ accountability in the Veteran Affairs and a new law was passed according to http://cv4a.org/cva-applauds-house-passage-va-accountability-act/ however, there does not seem to be a lot of accountability in regards to removing employees who meet disciplinary action mandates. If you decide to ‘settle’ with the government agency you work in, you may consider not signing a “gag order” that keeps you legally from discussing your case with others. Who knows—you may want to write a book or share your story to help others who deal with government workplace bullying. If you have kept great documentation records, you may want to hold your ‘ground’ and refuse to sign a ‘gag order’ settlement agreement that most government attorneys will want you to sign. Remember—it’s negotiable, but you must have the courage, documentation, and the willpower to demand it.

Fifth, workplace bullying takes a toll on your mental and physical health. You must find balance, peace, and positive distractions so that you can stand up to your bullies, demand your entitled rights, and own your personal power. It’s imperative to find a modality that helps you manage your stress. You may find great relaxation with yoga, deep breathing exercises, meditation or another modality that resonates with you. Also, learning how to empower yourself is one of the best ways to step up and own your ‘personal power’. Find a coach, mentor, clergy member or someone that can help you to find your own confidence and empowerment that is within you. Claiming your ‘personal power’ and becoming empowered is the greatest revenge of all when it comes to workplace bullying in the government.

P.S. Did you know you can request a complimentary 20 minute “find your voice/strength here: Get Advice or Coaching As an anti-bullying speaker, author, coach, and HR consultant, I am able to help others stand up to workplace bullying.

Be a Winner by Being Authentically You

October 27, 2015/2 Comments/in Empowerment/by Dawn Westmoreland

We live in a culture that values “followers’, rather than leaders. It seems like “selfies” have gotten out of control and are rampant everywhere! While there is nothing wrong with having fun, there is an issue of always trying to “fit in” with the expectations of other people. Why not celebrate your own uniqueness and talents? You pay a high price by trying to “fit in” with others. You lose your identity and authenticity when you always try to follow the herd.

For years, I had a sign, “Mavericks Don’t Follow the Herd”. It reminded me that it’s ok to be a unique individual and to not always try to “fit in” with others. Have you noticed that when you are authentic, you attract other like-minded people like yourself? It’s ok if people walk away from you or do not engage with you. They are probably not your “tribe” or people. I know I have spent years trying to be liked and to fit in with people. It was frustrating and mind-boggling to say the least, when people did not “get me” or understand me. Today, I surround myself with positive like-minded people who are my “tribe”. They are very different from me, but they like me for being authentic and unpretentious. It just feels good to be with people who support you and love you for who you are in this world.

You know what you are passionate about and what excites you in your life! You probably have ideas that you want to see come to fruition. You are meant to be engaged in activities, friends, and a career that supports your highest purpose on this earth. You must listen to your “gut feelings” or intuition that is pushing you to be authentic and happy! Oprah Winfrey, one of the greatest hosts in America, has mentioned in interviews that she did not “fit in” when she worked at a TV station in Baltimore, MD. She was removed as the evening news co-anchor in April 1977 and ended up as the co-host of a morning talk show, People Are Talking. Oprah immediately knew that she was on the right path and where her own uniqueness would “shine”. The rest is history—Oprah is well known by many people. She is respected for her soulful interviews and philanthropy to make other people’s lives better.

There is a natural course to being authentic and fulfilling your soul’s purpose. When we allow ourselves to be unique, we are able to connect with other like-minded people and resources that align us in offering our “gifts” and talents with others through our work and our personal lives. Being authentic and being the real “you” creates honesty, self-esteem, joy, inner peace, creativity, and unconditional love for yourself.

Stop comparing yourself to others. They have their own “uniqueness” and you have your own. Strive to recognize that others have different “gifts” than you do and they may have skills that you wish you have, but don’t have. They may even be further down their career path than you are or they are more spiritually advanced because they have conscientiously invested in their own self-growth. The spiritual message of being jealous of others is that which you are jealous of– is your own unrecognized potential. It really is that simple. Don’t compare yourself to others. Be “You” and shine your own light.

Think of the “mighty oak tree that begins as an acorn. The acorn cannot be any other tree than an oak tree. With all the right conditions—sun, rain and nutrients from the soil, the tree becomes stronger and stronger. We all have our own personal destiny—to be authentic and live the life our soul demands. It’s my wish that everyone embraces their own uniqueness!

If you are wanting to empower yourself, now it the perfect time. Grab hold of my book, “The Empowered Whistleblower”: A Practical and Spiritual Path to Personal Power” at http://getbook.at/Dawn It’s my own story of being severely dis-empowered, me blowing the whistle on my “victimhood”, overcoming, and how I am empowering others today as an anti-bullying coach, author, speaker, and HR consultant.

“The Real Cost of Being Beautiful”

April 11, 2015/0 Comments/in Empowerment/by Dawn Westmoreland

Dawn in iPEC school Sometimes people will “go the extra mile” in efforts to be beautiful. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, 15.1 million cosmetic procedures were performed in 2013, which is a 3% increase from the previous year. Of these procedures, most of them — 13.4 million — were minimally invasive procedures, like botox injections and chemical peels. But a large number of people — around 1.6 million — went under the knife to have invasive procedures, like breast augmentation surgeries, nose reshaping surgeries, and liposuction surgeries, according to http://www.cheatsheet.com/personal-finance/how-much-do-we-spend-on-beauty.html

Now, I know that most of us want to look our best, but how much of this obsessions is pure insecurity in ourselves. It really “pains” me to see women chasing after “beauty” as if it will truly make them more confident. Let’s face it, when you take off your makeup or your garments that perform some miracle, you are the “real you”. I am not putting down makeup or looking your best, by no means! It’s when you become obsessed with “beauty” and it runs your life, I think there is a concern.

Do we ask men to get “implants”? Seriously! I heard that comment last night when I was at the Millrun for a comedy show featuring Vince Morris. Vince was taunting the women in his audience about their obsession with their views and unrelentless desire for plastic surgery and trying to be perfect. He had me on the end of my seat! I totally get his humor and his raw “truth” about the obsession of beauty.

I went to Miami, Florida last September to finish my third module of coaching with iPEC. I forgot to take a couple of makeup items and realized it down the road. I realized how perfectly comfortable I was without makeup and the need to impress another human being. I could have gone to a drug store and bought some makeup, but I chose not to because I am about the “beauty” inside me. But—don’t get me wrong, I do value looking great, but not at the cost of being obsessed with it. The picture above proves that I have no makeup on and I am still a happy girl! So, I may have been one of the few women in Miami (at this time) who had absolute no makeup on and was just perfectly fine with it!

As a teenager, I went to a high-end modeling agency in Jacksonville, Florida. I was told that I had the “looks” to be a high-fashion model. My father was very handsome and my mother also gave me some very good genes too. I mean—I was 5’10” and about 120 lbs. when soaking wet. I was jumping up and down for joy, and that came to a halt when my mother told me in her own words—“It is not going to happen!” That probably was a beautiful gift from my mother at this time.

Most of my life has been about helping others and advocacy. I value inner beauty and kindness. I went many years without wearing makeup and declining “miracle” garments that would somehow make me look “different”. I had spent too many years feeling insecure because of my childhood woes to let that insecurity back into my life as an adult chasing after “beauty”.

If you would spend the money to hire a coach or hypnotherapist that could help you feel better about yourself—that is beautiful! A coach or a hypnotherapist can get down to the “root” of your problem and help you “overcome” it so you can feel better about yourself. In my practice, I don’t just hypnotize someone and they are “confident”. There is never a magic “blue pill”. I intuitively ask empowering questions so I know more about the “blocks” that people have that make them feel less beautiful or insecure. Together, whether in coaching or hypnotherapy, I work with each client to get “positive affirmation/results” that they want in their session. It’s always about the client—not what I want for them. It’s their agenda.

If you work on becoming more secure and stop paying attention to marketing that is targeted to “insecure” women, who will buy about anything to make themselves feel better about themselves, you will find the reflection in the mirror to be more beautiful. Trust me on this! There is a trend with the women I work with–they all want more confidence. I even see it with men too. Wouldn’t you agree, that confident and positive women are far more attractive than one who is externally attractive, but feels insecure?

I share with this group my “Confidence building” hypnosis/meditation I made at http://DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/blog/ . I can work with individuals that want a more “tailored” session with me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com

Phone, Google hangouts, or Skype work out just fine if it can’t be done in person. Here is to being “beautiful” you– inside and outside—because you are!

“The Leadership of Energy”

March 31, 2015/0 Comments/in Empowerment/by Dawn Westmoreland

While I was attending training to become a coach with the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), I learned from their coaching program that there are seven levels of energy. You can learn more about iPEC at www.ipeccoaching.com The founder of this wonderful coaching school is Dr. Bruce D. Schneider. Let’s talk about energy. Everything is energy—our clothes, our cars, and even our personal thoughts. There are also two types of energy: anabolic and catabolic. Anabolic energy is healing, productive, positive, and growth-oriented. While catabolic energy is contracting, draining, and resistant. If you feel like a “victim’ or feel “hopeless”, that is catabolic energy. While you feel like a victim, you perception may be distorted and affect the choices that you make. If you are non-judgmental and feel passionate about your life, you may be at the high-end of the energy levels.

If you feel fear, guilt, worry, self-doubt or have low self-esteem, you will be operating at the lowest level of energy and feel like a “victim”. Feeling this low, makes you susceptible to feeling helpless and avoiding confrontation. You may feel like you are “losing”. This is a highly destructive energy level. You may notice that you are attracting other “victim-like” people in your life because “like” attracts “like”. But you don’t have to be a “victim” or feel like you don’t have choices in your life. You can raise your energy levels by becoming more “empowered”.

As you move up the energy levels, you may experience what is known as level two energy. This is where a person may want to manage others by force or control. A person may want to project blame on others. It’s an “I win and you lose” situation in this energy level. It is certainly better than being a victim, but it’s still catabolic energy that is draining you. Do you really want to have level two energy?

Level three energy is an entry-level of anabolic energy, which is productive energy and more uplifting. A person may take responsibilities for their thoughts, actions, and emotions. They realize they have a choice in the matter and take accountability for this state of being. This is an “I win, and hopefully you win, too” energy. A person can motivate themselves and others through forgiving others, being more tolerant, and compromising with others.

When you have a level four energy, you take little or nothing personally and are able to be more objective. There is more of a “You win” going on and a “service” before self-mentality. This kind of energy lends to compassion for others and inspiration to serve others. This fosters team work, loyalty, and collaboration with others. It is definitely a high level of energy that lends to you becoming more successful and making a difference in this world.

Some of the greatest leaders in this world have a level five energy, which is a “We all win or no one wins” mentality. The people who possess this energy tend to be calm, confident entrepreneurial, and powerful. There is a sense of being in control of your life and destiny. There are no challenges, but every experience in life is an opportunity for self-growth. One of the core thoughts is that a person is “accepting” of others and does not try to change them.

Level six energy is an energy where a person sees everyone and everything as an extension of themselves. Their intuition is very active and people possessing this energy can tap into being a creative geniuses and they are visionaries, along with being a conscious leader. The mentality is “We always win”. The feeling are of permanent joy, satisfaction and pleasure. There is a great sense of connection with everything and everyone.

The highest level of energy is one that is characterized by complete objective thinking, being fearless, and are non-judgmental. A person with this kind of energy can view things with complete objectivity. The mentality for this energy level is “Winning and losing are illusions”. It is hard to imagine that concept, but with practice you can achieve it. Leaders who possess this energy are “masters” in their world and consciously co-create their life experiences. These are the most powerful leaders in the world.

There are always advantages and disadvantages of each energy level. Everyone can experience level one energy (Catabolic energy aka “victimhood”) at times and also experience level four energy (Anabolic/where you take nothing personal) too. Your overall average of your energy levels can dictate how successful you are in your personal life and in your business. Generally, the higher your energy levels, the more satisfied you are in your relationships, finances, personal self-growth, and your achievements.

It is great to have an awareness of who you are, you level of “consciousness” and how you act in your life. If you are interested in learning more about the leadership of energy and how to determine where you “fit” in with these energy levels, you can request more information at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact Just remember that every experience in our life is not a “challenge”, but an opportunity to grow and learn. If you can truly accept and embrace that, you are raising your energy leadership. Here is to an “empowering” 2015 and taking action to realize your dreams and goals this year!

Who Stole Your “Personal Power” from You? Five Tips for Recovery

February 17, 2015/0 Comments/in Empowerment/by Dawn Westmoreland

Are you constantly worried about what others think of you or that you won’t fit in with certain groups? Do you “give in” easily to other people’s demands or you have given up hope that you will ever be truly heard? As human beings in a spiritual body, I know that many of you have experienced it—giving away your “personal power”. You have taken the unappreciative comments from another person or you have felt “isolated even though you are in a crowd of people. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world.

Garbage men are often looked down upon from some people who feel they have achieved a “higher” status in life. When I lived in Southern France for eight months, the garbage men went on strike for higher pay and better “holiday” time off. I will never ever forget it. They went on strike for one month and refused to pick up any trash till they got their demands. I will not describe the smell or tell you what it looked like. We all know what kitchens smell like if we don’t get the trash out in a timely manner. Those garbage men got everything they wanted and I must say, I was secretly impressed and happy for them.

So often we give away our “personal power” and don’t realize why we are not being treated with respect. You must believe in yourself, more than others believe in you. If you are not being treated with respect, there may be a chance that you don’t respect your own self. Hey it happens! Been there myself and got the tee-shirt. I also burned that darn tee-shirt a while ago. I learned the hard way to find my own self-love and self-respect. I am always excited to help others find it a whole lot faster than I did. It’s time to burn that tee-shirt if you have it. Let’s dive in and take action to stop giving away your “personal power”.

First, Part of being a human being is feeling valued, appreciated, and having a sense of belonging. There is no one on this earth that is more valuable than you or deserves more than you do. That’s right! We are all God’ children and if you have a different faith or belief, than choose your “source”. Slow down a little in your life and notice the “signs” that are always there that tell you that you are connected to the divine and you are never ever alone on this earth. I am constantly finding these “signs” and it was only when I really slowed down that I began to notice them. Are you going so fast that you need to take yourself off of autopilot? Our society has conditioned us to go-go-go all the time and many times you are just being “busy” and really not as productive as you would like to be in your life.

Second, on this earth, you must put yourself first, before others. There are so many people “serving” others and they are burning out because they are not nurturing themselves and practicing self-care. Compare it to driving a car for a long time and not maintaining it. The car will break down eventually because it was not maintained. You must fulfill your needs first, so you can respond and care for others. You may be more “driven” or motivated than your spouse or partner, you cannot change them, but you can change yourself. And you must take action to fulfill your future or you will most likely experience being “uncomfortable” or that things are not working out the way you want them to be. Sometimes we have to experience misery or being uncomfortable so that we are “prompted” to be in alignment with our life purpose. This is no joke. Being in the mental health ward for three days was the best “gift” ever for me. I realized I was working in a job that was totally unfulfilling and working with people who had very low energies. It “shifted” me quickly to train in a year-long program to be a Life Coach. What a “gift”!

Third, stop worrying what others will think of you. They are responsible for their actions and emotions. You must be fair and considerate to others, as it is always the right thing to do. If you compassionately share some unpleasant news and the other person cries or gets mad, it probably means that they have some “unresolved” issues in their life that they need to heal or resolve. They may have been hurt in the past from a bad experience and it is still “unresolved” and eating away at them. Each of us has to “heal” ourselves and make amends with issues that have harmed or hurt us. We cannot “will” away some one else’s hurt or pain. We can be there for them and show support, but we cannot do the work for them. There is no magic pill. Healing or forgiving others can be hard work, but definitely worth it in the long run.

Fourth, if you are seeking answers from everyone else, but yourself. Stop it right now! You have an opinion and an “expert adviser” in you for many of the answers you are seeking. Stop asking someone else about how you should handle your affairs, unless you are seeking professional advice that you truly need. I see this over and over with people. They will ask me what I think about a matter involving them. I will turn it around in an empowering question and ask, “How are you giving away your personal power” to me when you know better than I, what is best for you. I never give advice to people. I will provide information that could be valuable to them, but want others to feel empowered because they become their own leader and take charge of their life. Think about it yourself—how do you give away your own “personal power”? When you realize it–that is the first step. Now take appropriate action for yourself.

Fifth, I use to run track in high school. I was pretty good too. I was running a race and I looked back and that was all it took to slow me down and the other runner won the race. I was so disappointed in myself that day. My coach and my mother told me later, that if I had not looked back, I would have won the race. How often are you comparing yourself with others or you are feeling insecure because someone is further down the “track” than where you are at this time? Often times, people who are successful will open up their wings more and take more risks in life. They don’t play small and they are competing against themselves so they can be their very best. Just keep your eyes on the goal and outcome you want in life. Stop comparing yourself and getting upset if someone else is doing better than you. They have bad days too! Consider this—what is the most loving and empowering thing you can do today, to help you achieve your goals or live the life you deserve?

I am about to create a “confidence” hypnosis/meditation MP3 soon. If you have never experienced hypnosis—it’s simply a guided meditation designed to relax you while you benefit from suggestions provided. If you want to get a copy, be sure to sign up for my newsletter. I offer complimentary products from time to time, and only in my newsletter. Sign up for my newsletter at http://eepurl.com/8vFN1 The “confidence” MP3 will be included in my next newsletter.

Here is to your “Empowerment” and a great week!

Warmly,

Dawn Westmoreland

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Signs of Faith are Everywhere

January 7, 2015/0 Comments/in Faith/by Dawn Westmoreland

Signs of faith are everywhere and you must slow down to see them. Just last week, I was in north Florida because my brother married his sweetheart on 12/13/14. It was an awesome wedding, only one week after my father passed away. We had mourned our father leaving this earth and then embraced a wedding. The wedding had been set up over a year ago and it turned out to be the happiest wedding I have ever experienced. I offered to pet sit my brother’s carrot-eating dog named Pugsley, while he was on his honeymoon. The weather was very comfortable and I took every opportunity to walk on Flagler beach, which is right below St Augustine, FL. I found myself asking for a “sign” on the beach one evening. I wanted to know that certain actions I was taking were the right ones for my personal, professional and spiritual growth. I soon walked upon five starfish, that had been swept up in the tide, in a matter of 30 minutes. Very few people find starfish like that on Flagler beach and I knew it was a sign that I am being supported. It was also clear to me that I am on the right career track for my life. I threw all of the starfish back but the one I knew was no longer alive and it was very dried out. It is my reminder that I am always being supported in my life and there are signs to prove it.

Often times I will find things that are out of the ordinary and I know they are signs. We are always supported and never truly by ourselves in this world. I remember walking into my closet and looking at the stack of sweaters in my closet on day. I began to think that I needed to donate some of them because I was not wearing them. All of a sudden, one of the sweaters drops to the floor. Of course I laughed! The sweaters were nicely stacked towards the back of a shelf and the sweater did not just fall to the floor because it was close to the edge of the shelf. Another sign! Like many people, I have been guilty of trying to explain everything and ignoring my own intuition. We all have intuition and it’s up to us to develop it and use it properly. It is highly beneficial in my coaching practice.
I remember constantly seeing a blue butterfly in the summer time that would always dance near me when I went outside. Butterflies are a sign about transformation and I knew I was in one hell of a transformation from my old self. My transformation has been mostly about “overcoming” and stepping into my spiritual gifts. My past no longer haunts me and I have become an “Overcomer” of my old stories. How did I “overcome” my old stories is a constant question I receive by those who want to overcome their own stories. I had to learn to trust my faith and that the “signs” I constantly see in my life are meant to assure me that I have all the support I need. As, I walked off the beach after seeing those five starfish that evening, I caught a glimpse of sparkling gold lights out of the corner of my eye. Yes–another amazing sign! We are all supported, loved, and never alone. We must trust our faith.

If you are ready to kick-start your 2015, be sure to ask for your complimentary 20 minute “break through” strategy session with me. You can contact me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact for your complimentary session. You deserve it!

Step Into Your Personal Power

January 24, 2014/0 Comments/in Uncategorized/by Dawn Westmoreland

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Let’s face it! Do you ever feel tired and out of energy? Have you considered how your energy is leaking from you and leaving you empty? Our minds are so powerful and our thoughts play a large role in how we view our world. Our thoughts are the foundation to how we live and think. Life is either good or bad according to our belief system. We can control our thoughts and become a leader of our thoughts! I encourage you to pay attention to your thoughts first thing in the morning. If you keep them positive, your day will likely be more productive and cheerful.

How can you find more positivity in your life?

Change a negative thought to a positive thought
Surround your life with positive people and events
Do activities that make you happy
Cherish the simple pleasures in life–there are many out there
Be around people that make you feel good
Love yourself unconditionally–there is only one YOU!
Detach from negative people and events when possible

We can get so much support from positive people, but some people like drama and are energy vampires. They enjoy the attention they receive being a victim or creating chaos. We all know people who are like this. As a very sensitive person, who dislikes drama and chaos, I have to set boundaries with these kind of people. It’s not that they are bad. I believe all people are good, but some are frightened and act out of fear. These kind of people can “suck” out your energy in no time. They want to tell you about all the drama in their life or they are continuously negative, which leaves you feeling fatigued and depleted. While we all have our “bad” days, we need to keep things in prospective. So what can you do to help yourself from getting “sucked in” by energy vampires and negative thoughts?

First, notice how you are feeling. If you are feeling uncomfortable around a certain person, that is a sign that your energy is being compromised. This is a time to notice and take action! Everyone deserves to be happy and respected. If you are trying to grow personally or spiritually, you may want to evaluate the people you want in your life and environment. While you may not have a choice in some matters, you can choose your companions and friends wisely. You also have a choice in your thoughts. If you catch yourself thinking negatively, imagine placing your negative thoughts in a helium balloon and releasing it so it can be removed from you. Bring in positive and nurturing thoughts that support you.

Second, it takes courage to “cut-off” people who continue to barrage you with their drama and chaos. I encourage supporting people who need an “ear” or emotional support. We all need to take responsibility and be accountable for 100% of our lives. So, when a person is not willing to be responsible and take appropriate actions for their life, they are willing to stay in a place that may not be beneficial to them. I realize that we all “slip” sometimes–even I fall short sometimes and get “de-railed”. I am far from perfect and I have gotten caught up in other people’s drama schemes by trying to help them, while they are not taking any responsibility for their own lives. Rescuing people does not help them if they are willing to stay a victim of their own life.

None of us know how long we will be on this earth and how life will unfold each day. However, we have a lot of power in having positive thoughts and friends. I am sharing a wonderful story that reminds me I have a choice in my life–to be happy or to be unhappy. I chose to being happy and be responsible for my life. Life is good.

Good Wolf Bad Wolf

A traditional Native American story describes a boy who was feeling angry and upset at an injustice, who goes to his old Grandfather for advice. The Grandfather tells the boy that he, too has felt these feelings of hate and anger. The Grandfather shares that he has also realized how these feelings have no effect on his enemy, but they do cause him great pain.

“It is as if I have two wolves living inside me,” says the Grandfather. “One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.”

“But the other wolf,” Grandfather continues, “fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. The smallest thing will send him into a fury. He cannot think because his anger and rage are so great; however for all its fury, his anger changes nothing.

“Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looks into his Grandfather’s eyes and asks, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

His grandfather replies, “Whichever one I feed.”