Tag Archive for: self care

Five Reasons Why I Was Able to Overcome My Miserable Life

Dawn and VirtueWe all experience miserable life experiences from time to time.  We may get a divorce, a spouse lets us down or we absolutely hate our job.  I could go on and on about miserable experiences, however, I would rather share my experience with you about “overcoming”.    When you are able to “own” your old stories, instead of your old stories “owning” you, empowerment and liberation prevails.   It is that simple.  Why live in misery, when you can feel better about your life and your circumstances.  Let’s go ahead and jump in and take action to “overcome” the misery we experience at times.

First, every experience in your life is a growing opportunity for you.  I had an experience a couple of years ago where I felt another person had demeaned me after they asked me what I had been up to lately.  I then shared with this person some of the rougher parts of my week. Their comments back to me were very harsh and cut me to threads at the time.  I actually cried because those comments made me feel so small and unappreciated.  I later realized that I had received a “gift” from this person because the experience reminded me of being a young child and getting a verbal lashing from my grandmother.  My grandmother was very stern and had grown up in an orphanage.  She was a very good person, but gave very tough love to me.  I never realized that I had unresolved issues with my grandmother.  The experience of receiving unkind and cutting words helped me to realize I needed to heal the past with my grandmother.  What an eye-opener and a gift for me!  I made peace with my grandmother, who has been dead for many years.  I no longer get as “triggered” by unkind people.  I fixed that problem.

Two, my life felt out of control and I was barely keeping up with my own self-care.  When you work too much and neglect taking care of yourself—you are going to pay a high price.  Your mental and physical health may begin to decline.    I experienced this myself when I ended up in the VA Mental Health ward for three days.  I neglected myself and wore myself out working too many hours on my two court cases against the Veteran Affairs.  The stress and my own neglect on self-care got me a three day stay in the Mental Health ward.   Not fun and the food really sucked there too!  Today, I schedule in self-care in my daily calendar.   I meditate, pray, get massages, receive energy work from a friend, and fit in the best thing I can afford to do, that helps me when I need it.

Three, we always have choices in our life. Have you ever looked back and realized you may have not made a good choice?  We all do!  For example, I had a consultation on the phone the other day with a female who had “bought in” to the fact that she should follow her parent’s advice for her career path. This was a truly gifted lady who wanted to work more in the “arts” and not work a boring job just for the benefits.   She was suffering from so much guilt and wanted the freedom to be herself and work in jobs that were more to her taste.  As children we may become conditioned by our parents who really love us and want the best for us.  However, when we become adults, we are giving away our “personal power” when we let others control our lives.  Most of us have been guilty of this at one time or another.   I use to give away my “personal power” all the time by trying to fit in with others or by trying to please others too much.   Today, it is much easier for me to “catch” myself before I give away my “personal power”.   I have my own choices to make and I am 100% accountable to myself. I encourage you to look at how you have given away your own “personal power” and make a decision to love and respect yourself more.

Fourth, can you think of someone who takes advantage of you or someone who is always complaining?  Don’t they just suck the energy out of you?  Some people call them Energy Vampires.  As I said earlier, we all get to make choices in our lives.  I found the best way to handle these kind of people is to set boundaries in our lives.  You don’t have to let another person abuse you or make you their sounding board.  Setting healthy boundaries with another person can be as easy as telling a negative person that you would rather not hear them complain about their life all the time. You could ask them to start telling you positive aspects of their life or avoid them as much as possible.  I often do this when I experience constant negative outbursts from people.   I also enjoy reading and recommend “Assertiveness for Earth Angels”, which is a book from Doreen Virtue.   This book describes many different kinds of personalities people have and how to become more assertive with each one.

Five, you must show up for your life.  If you are just riding the roller coaster of life and you are not in control, it is time to be accountable to yourself.  If your spending is out of control, get professional help.  If you can’t stand up for yourself, hire a life coach or hypnotherapist who can help you become more empowered in your life.   The worst thing you can do is think you cannot afford it.   The real truth is you cannot afford not to get help.  The real expense could come in the form of debt that financially drains you or an expensive divorce that drains you financially and emotionally.   You must invest in yourself and your life.  I do—I work with a business coach, who also has a coach and so on and so on…..  You always want to work with someone reputable that is doing better than you are at the time.  This way you are learning and growing. It has really paid off for me in so many ways.   I have made sacrifices to work with a coach so I could achieve the results I wanted, in a much faster manner than if I had done it on my own.   It was well worth it and I encourage you to invest in yourself so you can obtain the results you want in a faster manner.   My life is now happier, more peaceful, and I am excited to be a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist, who gets to help others become empowered.  We all deserve to have happy and have empowered lives.

If you feel kinda “stuck” in your life and need a “break-through”, request a complimentary 20 minute strategy consultation with me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact

Here is one of my testimonials—“Dawn helped me to “break free” of some emotional baggage that was stuck for quite some time. It was quite surprising at first, but a calming sense of grounding and peace followed. Her loving energy made me feel nourished and focused. Wonderful experience. Will have to do it again!”

How to Believe in Yourself—Three Steps You Can Conquer

Believe in YourselfI remember my business coach telling me, “You have to believe in yourself more than others believe in you”, when I first started working with her last year.  Everyone experiences self-doubt at times.  Even I do sometimes.  I remember when I first spoke out against the prohibited personnel actions going on in the Veteran Affairs agency several years ago.  As soon as I filed charges against my management, I experienced severe work place bullying and retaliation.  At this time, I was also trying to encourage a good friend of mine from committing suicide due to their own workplace bullying.

My troubles began building as I was trying to down-size and sell my house.  My house flooded two times and my insurance company dropped me after paying me back for repairs of nearly $30k.   Now, the stress of all of this was starting to overwhelm me and I was feeling very discouraged at this time.  I had so much self-doubt at the time and wondered if I could conquer all my goals.  It took about nine months and a lot of up-grades to sell my house.  The house and property were very nice, but would appeal to only someone who loved being on the side of a hill and loved to garden—I mean a lot of gardening!   I thought that my troubles could not get any worse and then the Veteran Affairs disregarded my doctor’s recommendation of being allowed to work from my home computer.   I refused to go back to the Veteran Affairs, to a hostile work environment and my management cut off my pay.  Mind you, I was paying for an attorney and living hand-to-mouth at the time.

The story has a great ending!  My troubles and self-doubt were conquered.  I settled with the Veteran Affairs in March 2014.  One week after settling with the Veteran Affairs, I became a Life Coach and now show people how to become empowered.  As a Life Coach, I don’t provide the solutions, but help people to realize where they are “stuck” in their lives so they can get “unstuck”.   Once they see what is holding them back, I am able to assist them with reaching their goals.  This is what empowerment is about.   Life is full of choices and it’s up to us to choose wisely.  So, how do you believe in yourself more?

First, you must take 100% accountability in your life.   If you are selling yourself short—stop!  Be responsible and make sure you are being accountable in everything you do in this life.  When you know you are being responsible and honest with yourself, it’s hard not to believe in yourself and what you are doing. If you don’t like your job—change jobs!   Own up to the mistakes you make, but don’t beat yourself up!  Learn from your mistakes and make the right action to grow from them.   I learned that I did not have to earn four degrees (after I had earned them) to impress my dead grandmother who had a PhD.  I was smart, without even earning a degree.

Second, take a good look at yourself in the mirror.  Are you your own best friend or worst enemy? If you are cringing to look at yourself and realize you have low self-esteem, take steps to improve your self-esteem.  Lose weight, exercise, go to a support group for help or reach out to a modality that helps you “shift” out of your old patterns or belief system that has been holding you back.  Life coaching and hypnotherapy are excellent ways to help with confidence and breaking old patterns.  It saved my life and now I do it to help others so they can feel better about themselves and have more confidence.

Third, no matter what you faith is, you will find so many benefits in asking for the help you need.  I use to ask God to please “fix” things for me.  Now, I ask God to please help me to become the person I need to become, so I can handle/manage things better in my life.  I have seen so many “signs” in my life, which tell me I am not alone and I am much loved.   I will find a white feather out of the ordinary and last night my stand-up fan turned on by itself.  These are “signs” to me that I am much supported and never alone on this earth—never.   These “signs” get my attention and gently remind me to believe in myself and know I am always supported.  We all have the ability to see “signs” and know we are loved.   Sometimes, we just have to slow down and pay attention.  We are all on this earth for a reason and we must believe in ourselves so we can fulfill our destinies.  We can do this when we fully believe in ourselves and realize what we are capable of doing on this earth.  Each of us are very powerful in a meaningful way.

I would be happy to explain to you how life coaching and/or hypnotherapy can help you to believe more in yourself.  Book a complimentary 20 minute session with me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact

The Art and Science of Self-Care

Self careWe all know that burnt out feeling when we are tired or overwhelmed in our life.  It may come on slow, but it can really affect us personally and professionally when we are not taking good care of ourselves.  We rush, we scatter, and we are running with our heads cut off………We think it is the way to success, by always being busy and multi-tasking.  With all the conveniences we have today, we seem to be still on “overloaded” with work and activities.   No wonder we are so darn tired!

Self-care is about taking care of yourself and your needs.  I find that getting energy body work and massage to be very healing and grounding.  When I get regular energy work and massage, I am able to focus more on my practice and it recharges my energy.  Our bodies need regular care and if we do not practice self-care, we will end up feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, and not succeeding in all our endeavors.  I highly suggest that you make it a practice to get a massage, receive body work or experience a modality that helps your body to feel better.  The body heals itself, but it does count on us to make wise choices and to be good to ourselves.

You never want to think of self-care as a luxury.  It is not.  It is a necessity that will keep your body “fueled” and in a homeostasis manner.  Pay attention to the food that you put in your body.  Is it free of pesticides, herbicides, dyes, additives, chemicals etc.?  Our body was not designed to eat poisonous foods and drinks.  Are you overweight and depressed?  It is time to evaluate the self-care you are giving yourself.  Are you getting the necessary exercise you need?  Sometimes, it is as simple as taking a daily walk and experiencing the benefits of an active body in motion.  It is well known that people sleep better at night when they have a good exercise routine.

I encourage you to evaluate how you can incorporate self-care in your life.  One of the best ways to see how your life is changing is to journal each day.  You can later review your trends and your accomplishments.   Be good to yourself!  Not only do you deserve it, but your body needs it.  I find that getting regular massages and energy work to be the best self-care for my body.  It shows too.  I have accomplished so much more in my life and people notice the difference in me too.  I attribute it to being better at self-care and loving myself in a healthier way.

Did you know that hypnosis is a great way to provide your body with self-care.   Not only is it extremely relaxing, but it is very effective in being therapeutic for your body.  Check out my complimentary “relaxation” hypnosis/meditation video at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com  You will find it on the top right side of my home page.  Enjoy.  Relax.  You are on your way to self-care.