Tag Archive for: WNC

Why Fear is Important in our Lives

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Why is it that we dislike being “fearful”? Why do we allow it to hold us “hostage” in our lives? I am not writing about fear of “rational” things like poisonous snakes and matters of safety.   More like, living small because of the “inner bully” in ourselves that wants to keep us small and protected by not living our soul’s calling with great joy. Often times our “inner critic” will try to serve us in ways that are not for our highest good. For example, when I began to train as a Life Coach, I knew that I was going to be doing work that I am passionate about, but I also was nervous about going “BIG” because I am an introvert. OK—an “extroverted” introvert to be more accurate.

Admitting raw and real stories about my past was the hardest thing for me to do, but yet, I do write and talk about them. I share with others about being sexually molested as a child, childhood/adult bullying, an alcoholic marriage, and landing in the Mental Health ward after dealing with two years of horrendous bullying for being a Veteran Affairs “Whistleblower”. As I wrote about these events in my book, there was a part of me that wanted to “hide” under the bed and not share these events with others. Part of me was fearful and it felt scary to be so authentic about these circumstances in my life. While these feelings were distressful and fearful to me, I received the message, “Yes, you can do this and you are going to help a lot of people by telling your story and how you overcame your own dis-empowerment”.

When I worked in the Midatlantic Consolidated Patient Accounting Center (MACPAC), which is a division of the Veteran Affairs in West Asheville, NC, I witnessed a lot of fearful people who were afraid to speak out about the nepotism (illegal hiring of family & friends) and other prohibited personnel actions that were going on in this VA agency. It made me sick to see the fear on these people’s faces and I knew that when I turned in the management of the MACPAC, that I would be paying a high price. I did it anyway. Yes—I was fearful, but in the large picture of that event, I knew that it was important to change the unfair hiring practices and expose the bullying that happened when conscientious “whistleblowers” like myself turn these illegal practices in to government agencies that handle these matters.

I could have done nothing and then everything would remain the same in my former job, within the MACPAC. While feeling scared and knowing so many people would turn against me, I turned in my management to the Office of Special Counsel in Washington D.C. and to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) in Charlotte, NC. Why was I fearful? Because I turned in over 15 people for prohibited personnel actions and they ganged up on me very quickly. While being fearful, I still held them accountable and “settled” with the Veteran Affairs in March 2014, without a “gag order”.   Often I get asked how I can tell my story when I settled with the Veteran Affairs. I can tell my story because I refused to sign a settlement with the VA that would keep me quiet. The VA attorneys finally agreed to this settlement, two days before the EEOC hearing. Moving through all of my fear made me a “victor” in the end.

We are always going to feel “fear”. It is what we do with it that counts. We can stay stuck or we can move through it. How we deal with “fear” is important.   Do we listen to our “inner critic” that says to play small, stay silent, stay hidden and don’t take chances? Or do we listen to our soul that says to keep moving through our “fears” and to follow our soul’s purpose for being on this earth? We get to choose how we deal with fear. The reason why fear is so important in our life is because we get to “play” bigger in our lives if we move through our fears.   First, fear can inspire us to take positive action.   Fear can push us to take the actions we need in our life and create wonderful opportunities.   Second, we can become “liberated” when we move through our fears and accomplish worthy goals. It can push us out of our comfort zone and created a new life for us if we allow it to happen. Third, fear can build our confidence because when we do something positive that makes us fearful, it can make us stronger and more confident.   So, anytime we are dealing with “fear”, consider what side of fear we want to be on— the “empowered” side or the “victim” side.  For I am not letting the “inner critic” in my head win.   I am heading to the Vancouver area to do a workshop on “Overcoming Fear” with my friend, Wendy McClelland on Sept 26th, 2015.   I am hoping you will want to become more empowered and live the life you are supposed to live on this earth.

If you would like to learn more about “overcoming” your old “stories” and moving through fear, check out my book, “The Empowered Whistleblower: A Practical and Spiritual Path to Personal Power” at http://getbook.at/Dawn   You can also get a complimentary copy of my first chapter at www.TheEmpoweredWhistleblower.comDawn looking to the side with mike

Kind People Can Stand Up to Bullying

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According to The Bully Institute, http://www.workplacebullying.org/tag/bullying-statistics/ the person who gets targeted the most in the workplace is the person who is considered kind and compassionate. Yikes, what if that is you in the workplace? Well, it was me when I worked in the Midatlantic Consolidated Patient Accounting Center (MACPAC), which is a Veteran Affairs organization in West Asheville, North Carolina.  Years ago, when I worked there,  I was asked by my former management to run an employee assistance program that would help MACPAC employees when they had economic issues that would come up. I was known for my “humanitarian” skills and for caring about other people.

Even though I consider myself a kind and compassionate person, I am a no-nonsense person when it comes to bullying or any kind of mistreatment in the workplace. Everyone is entitled to work in a safe environment and where they are treated with respect. After working 20 years in the Air Force as a female, I learned to be assertive when needed. That skill has come in handy many times in my life. I have never had a problem in being a “nice” person, but you must do so with healthy boundaries too. Let me explain. While I am a nice person, I held my bullies accountable and reported them to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and “settled” in March 2014. I held my “ground” and had great documentation—I “settled” with the Veteran Affairs without a “gag order” that would prevent me from telling my story. How often do you hear about that? You can be nice and you can also stand in your “personal power”.

Your presence and your demeanor tells everyone how you feel about yourself. If you carry yourself with dignity and grace, that is the way you are generally perceived by others. Bullies, who generally have low self-esteem, can pick up your energy and know that you may be an easy target to harass. They generally go after the people they deem as weak.  I realize that there are many kind and “sensitive” souls who have dealt with hardships in their life—divorce, death, bullying, etc. It’s part of your own journey to become your greatest self, but only if you learn your lessons or experience self-growth from these experiences.

If your old “stories” are “owning” you, instead of you “owning” your old stories, then it’s time to heal your past. Nurturing old wounds and not healing them is a sure way to stay small and stuck in your life. You must let go of your “hurtful” past so you can fully live the life you deserve! You can reach out to a trusted clergy person, a coach, mentor, therapist or anyone who is reputable and will help you heal your past. If you want to be truly “free” in your life, you must forgive the perpetrators in your life and let go of your old “stories”. You are forgiving them for your own “healthy” reasons—to move on with your life and heal.

I spent many years dealing with self-loathing and insecurities because I was molested as a young child. After I dealt with forgiving the perpetrator and working on my own self-development, I really found my “inner strength” and began to realize I could now help others because I am on the “other” side. I will admit—it was not easy, but it was worth it! In the past, I have lived in fancy houses and had many materialistic things in my life, but I was not happy. I had attracted an “alcoholic” into my life and my home felt like a “prison” back in those days.   I did not realize at that time, that I was looking through the “lens” of a victim and someone who had not found their “personal power”.   I had attracted many negative things in my life because I had felt “hopeless” and very insecure back then. That has changed, because I took 100% charge of my life and began to “cut” out negative people out of my life as much as possible. I carefully discern on who I want as friends today and it really makes a big difference for me. Today, I have never had more “freedom” and peace in my life. You deserve it too!

Let me share a webinar, which is now a video, I made about “Commanding Respect in Your Life”. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oV12-pzac4   More free resources at  www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com

 

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“The Real Cost of Being Beautiful”

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Dawn in iPEC schoolSometimes people will “go the extra mile” in efforts to be beautiful. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, 15.1 million cosmetic procedures were performed in 2013, which is a 3% increase from the previous year. Of these procedures, most of them — 13.4 million — were minimally invasive procedures, like botox injections and chemical peels. But a large number of people — around 1.6 million — went under the knife to have invasive procedures, like breast augmentation surgeries, nose reshaping surgeries, and liposuction surgeries, according to http://www.cheatsheet.com/personal-finance/how-much-do-we-spend-on-beauty.html

Now, I know that most of us want to look our best, but how much of this obsessions is pure insecurity in ourselves. It really “pains” me to see women chasing after “beauty” as if it will truly make them more confident. Let’s face it, when you take off your makeup or your garments that perform some miracle, you are the “real you”. I am not putting down makeup or looking your best, by no means! It’s when you become obsessed with “beauty” and it runs your life, I think there is a concern.

Do we ask men to get “implants”? Seriously! I heard that comment last night when I was at the Millrun for a comedy show featuring Vince Morris. Vince was taunting the women in his audience about their obsession with their views and unrelentless desire for plastic surgery and trying to be perfect. He had me on the end of my seat! I totally get his humor and his raw “truth” about the obsession of beauty.

I went to Miami, Florida last September to finish my third module of coaching with iPEC. I forgot to take a couple of makeup items and realized it down the road. I realized how perfectly comfortable I was without makeup and the need to impress another human being. I could have gone to a drug store and bought some makeup, but I chose not to because I am about the “beauty” inside me. But—don’t get me wrong, I do value looking great, but not at the cost of being obsessed with it.  The picture above proves that I have no makeup on and I am still a happy girl!  So, I may have been one of the few women in Miami (at this time) who had absolute no makeup on and was just perfectly fine with it!

As a teenager, I went to a high-end modeling agency in Jacksonville, Florida. I was told that I had the “looks” to be a high-fashion model.  My father was very handsome and my mother also gave me some very good genes too. I mean—I was 5’10” and about 120 lbs. when soaking wet. I was jumping up and down for joy, and that came to a halt when my mother told me in her own words—“It is not going to happen!” That probably was a beautiful gift from my mother at this time.

Most of my life has been about helping others and advocacy. I value inner beauty and kindness.  I went many years without wearing makeup and declining “miracle” garments that would somehow make me look “different”. I had spent too many years feeling insecure because of my childhood woes to let that insecurity back into my life as an adult chasing after “beauty”.

If you would spend the money to hire a coach or hypnotherapist that could help you feel better about yourself—that is beautiful! A coach or a hypnotherapist can get down to the “root” of your problem and help you “overcome” it so you can feel better about yourself. In my practice, I don’t just hypnotize someone and they are “confident”. There is never a magic “blue pill”.   I intuitively ask empowering questions so I know more about the “blocks” that people have that make them feel less beautiful or insecure. Together, whether in coaching or hypnotherapy, I work with each client to get “positive affirmation/results” that they want in their session. It’s always about the client—not what I want for them.  It’s their agenda.

If you work on becoming more secure and stop paying attention to marketing that is targeted to “insecure” women, who will buy about anything to make themselves feel better about themselves, you will find the reflection in the mirror to be more beautiful. Trust me on this! There is a trend with the women I work with–they all want more confidence. I even see it with men too. Wouldn’t you agree, that confident and positive women are far more attractive than one who is externally attractive, but feels insecure?

I share with this group my “Confidence building” hypnosis/meditation I made at http://DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/blog/ . I can work with individuals that want a more “tailored” session with me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com

Phone, Google hangouts, or Skype work out just fine if it can’t be done in person. Here is to being “beautiful” you– inside and outside—because you are!

“How to Shine Out the Darkness in Your Life”

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We all deal with it—negative people, events, and situations and it can be draining, hurtful, and down-right nasty sometimes.  Let’s face it, there are people out there who are hurt, have not healed from their “issues”, and may be stuck in a “rut”.  These people may hurl insults or be negative around you.  It can be a surprise to see a grown man or women acting badly, but it happens all the time.  It even happens to me.  One of the best “tools” I have learned is to spread “white light” when there is negativity.  Let me explain.   Many spiritual people believe that white light is the space within the universe where positive energies are stored and can be released.  You can call upon it anytime and in any place.  People who are “empaths” may be one of the first people to notice or sense negative energies around them.  Empaths are very sensitive people who can often “feel” emotional energy from other people or even in physical spaces.

I have been very sensitive and an “empath” all my life.  I have continued to become more sensitive as I have gotten older too.    This can be great when you are a healer or work with people like I do as a Personal Power Coach.   On the other hand, it can be draining if you are picking up negative energy that a person puts out.  You don’t even have to be physically around them and you can still “feel” the negative energy.   Everything is energy and so are thoughts.  I can sense the energy of many things and I am not alone.  There are other empaths out there too and they may need a little help in negating energy that is not so pure and nice.  Plants need light to grow and we as human need light to thrive.  We live in a world that does have “darkness” and I will gladly share a tool to help you spread “white light” so you can help remove darkness and negative energy from your life.  This is a tool that one of my mentors, Martha Juchnowski taught me for my own usage and really does work!

First, imagine that you have white light emanating from your heart.  The heart puts out more energy than the brain does. Researchers have actually measured this with machines that can measure energy.   The heart is very powerful.  When you are imagining white light coming from your heart, begin to visualize it getting bigger and bigger so that it is now all of you and expanding around you.   You can make this “white light” as big as you want.  You can spread it in your house or in a friend’s house for example.  I do my own “white light” version with all of my loved ones and all of our pets, every single day. It works.  I visualize placing white light in their homes, all around their homes, their workplaces, and around their neighborhoods too.

Don’tDawn in Sylva, NC panic if you are not good at visualizing—that does not matter!  It’s all about intention and every thought is energy too.  So, basically you are sending love and light out when you are doing this.  When you do this you are spreading goodness, love, and pure energy.  Darkness and negative energy can’t live in a loving and pure environment.  It has to leave! It’s the law of the universe and I called that—God.  I have imagined white light spreading in a loved one’s entire house.  Later that day they informed me that the air felt so light and maybe it was the weather.   I can assure you that the weather in that neighborhood was rain for the past three days and that does not make the air seem “lighter”.

Try it sometime—shine white light around you, your pets, your home, your work space, and where ever you need it.  It cannot hurt anyone or harm them.  You may notice that people become happier or more at peace.  To me it seems miraculous, but I have seen some pretty cool stuff as a result of me shining white light on people, places, and situations.  You never do it with the intention of harming or hurting someone.  It cannot do that!  It just makes the energy around the person more pure and loving.  When you are emitting love or good energy, you are pushing away negativity.  People feel better and I bet you will too.  Love is powerful!

“The Leadership of Energy”

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While I was attending training to become a coach with the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), I learned from their coaching program that there are seven levels of energy. You can learn more about iPEC at www.ipeccoaching.com  The founder of this wonderful coaching school is Dr. Bruce D. Schneider.  Let’s talk about energy.  Everything is energy—our clothes, our cars, and even our personal thoughts.  There are also two types of energy:  anabolic and catabolic.   Anabolic energy is healing, productive, positive, and growth-oriented. While catabolic energy is contracting, draining, and resistant.   If you feel like a “victim’ or feel “hopeless”, that is catabolic energy.  While you feel like a victim, you perception may be distorted and affect the choices that you make.   If you are non-judgmental and feel passionate about your life, you may be at the high-end of the energy levels.

If you feel fear, guilt, worry, self-doubt or have low self-esteem, you will be operating at the lowest level of energy and feel like a “victim”.  Feeling this low, makes you susceptible to feeling helpless and avoiding confrontation.  You may feel like you are “losing”.  This is a highly destructive energy level.  You may notice that you are attracting other “victim-like” people in your life because “like” attracts “like”.   But you don’t have to be a “victim” or feel like you don’t have choices in your life. You can raise your energy levels by becoming more “empowered”.

As you move up the energy levels, you may experience what is known as level two energy.  This is where a person may want to manage others by force or control.   A person may want to project blame on others.  It’s an “I win and you lose” situation in this energy level.  It is certainly better than being a victim, but it’s still catabolic energy that is draining you.  Do you really want to have level two energy?

Level three energy is an entry-level of anabolic energy, which is productive energy and more uplifting.  A person may take responsibilities for their thoughts, actions, and emotions.  They realize they have a choice in the matter and take accountability for this state of being.  This is an “I win, and hopefully you win, too” energy.  A person can motivate themselves and others through forgiving others, being more tolerant, and compromising with others.

When you have a level four energy, you take little or nothing personally and are able to be more objective.  There is more of a “You win” going on and a “service” before self-mentality.  This kind of energy lends to compassion for others and inspiration to serve others.  This fosters team work, loyalty, and collaboration with others.   It is definitely a high level of energy that lends to you becoming more successful and making a difference in this world.

Some of the greatest leaders in this world have a level five energy, which is a “We all win or no one wins” mentality.   The people who possess this energy tend to be calm, confident entrepreneurial, and powerful.  There is a sense of being in control of your life and destiny.   There are no challenges, but every experience in life is an opportunity for self-growth.  One of the core thoughts is that a person is “accepting” of others and does not try to change them.

Level six energy is an energy where a person sees everyone and everything as an extension of themselves.   Their intuition is very active and people possessing this energy can tap into being a creative geniuses and they are visionaries, along with being a conscious leader.   The mentality is “We always win”.  The feeling are of permanent joy, satisfaction and pleasure.  There is a great sense of connection with everything and everyone.

The highest level of energy is one that is characterized by complete objective thinking, being fearless, and are non-judgmental.   A person with this kind of energy can view things with complete objectivity.  The mentality for this energy level is “Winning and losing are illusions”.  It is hard to imagine that concept, but with practice you can achieve it.   Leaders who possess this energy are “masters” in their world and consciously co-create their life experiences.   These are the most powerful leaders in the world.

There are always advantages and disadvantages of each energy level.  Everyone can experience level one energy (Catabolic energy aka “victimhood”) at times and also experience level four energy (Anabolic/where you take nothing personal) too.   Your overall average of your energy levels can dictate how successful you are in your personal life and in your business.  Generally, the higher your energy levels, the more satisfied you are in your relationships, finances, personal self-growth, and your achievements.

It is great to have an awareness of who you are, you level of “consciousness” and how you act in your life.  If you are interested in learning more about the leadership of energy and how to determine where you “fit” in with these energy levels, you can request more information at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact    Just remember that every experience in our life is not a “challenge”, but an opportunity to grow and learn.  If you can truly accept and embrace that, you are raising your energy leadership.  Here is to an “empowering” 2015 and taking action to realize your dreams and Dawn and Virtuegoals this year!

“Loving the Unlovable”–tips on empowerment

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What a title! Can you relate? I sure can! I bet you know of someone in your life that drives you crazy and you would rather avoid them, then deal with their trauma and drama. When this person(s) enters the room, you feel your blood boil, your stomach cramp or you feel nauseous because this person can be very manipulative or narcistic. They may even be an “energy vampire” too, the kind of person that “drains” your energy with their presence and behavior, I have dealt with this experience myself and use to lose a lot of sleep over the raDawn pic for Newlife64ntings and manipulative behavior of a “energy vampire”. This person drove me crazy with rage and disgust because I felt they were continuously taking advantage of a loved one.

I realized that my “clairsentience”, which is intuition in the form of emotional input, gut feeling or physical feeling and my “Claircognizance”, which is when intuitive information just pops into your head, was developing and I had a sense of “knowing” about things and people. It drove me nuts and I wanted others to experience these insights like I did. We all have intuitive gifts. They are different for each person, but we all have intuitive gifts. It’s a matter of accepting these “gifts” and be open to them too. Once you are, be ready for your “gifts”.   These tools are invaluable if used correctly and they can be of great benefit in your personal life and business. I don’t claim to be psychic, but have different levels of intuitive “gifts” and I am grateful for them. I love using my “gifts” to help others.

Getting back to the “unlovable” people in your life. It has taken me many years to realize that these people can be the greatest “spiritual teachers” in your life. I have suffered and anguished over these kinds of people, until I was able to “let go” and trust that there is a reason for “unlovable” people in my life. They can teach you patience, standing up for yourself, and trusting that they are in your life for a “divine” reason. They can bring you closer to God or whatever source you are close to and they can also provide the best lessons in life. The “unlovable” are in your life for a reason—take time to discern over this and realize you have the opportunity of improving your spirituality and personal growth.  You get to choose and life is all about choices. I continually repeat this in most of my blogs.

The “unlovable” can come into your loved ones lives to teach them lessons and even you.   Since “like” attracts “like”, it can bring a narcistic/manipulative person to a person who has low self-esteem and may continually get treated with dis-respect. Once you are able to raise your energy levels and find self-respect, you will notice that the people in your life are “matching” your energy levels and your self-esteem.   That is why it is so important to work on self-development so you can experience the best relationships with others in your life.   Until then, you must set healthy “boundaries” in your life. That simply means that you cannot allow others to dis-respect you and take advantage of you. I love Doreen Virtue’s new book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels”. I have read this book twice and highly recommend it to others who deal with “unlovable” people. Once you know how to deal with all kinds of people, life gets less messy and uncomplicated. Until you stand up for yourself and show your own self some R.E.S.P.E.C.T., you may find yourself repeating old behaviors that attract the “unlovable” in your life.

Now, I know we cannot pick our family members, but we can choose our friends very wisely. The five people we hang out with the most each day will have a profound effect on you. They will affect you personally, financially, and spiritually. Don’t beat yourself up on past experiences with “unlovable” people. Just learn the “lessons”, become more empowered and never stop growing—spiritually.   The worst people in my life have helped me to get closer to God and improve my own spirituality. Now, that is empowering! The “unlovable” can be loved, but sometimes it may have to be at a distance and with a lot of praying for ease and grace to be in your life.   Just remember they teach you many things in your life. They are not a challenge to you, but an opportunity to learn and grow. So, let it happen!

Who is Your Best Friend?

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Dawn smaller pictureIs the reflection in the mirror your best friend or worst ? I hope it is your best friend. There may be times that you think another person may be your enemy, but often times, the worst enemy can be yourself. I know this so well! No one has ever been meaner or mistreated me more than myself. The man who molested me as a child, the bullies in school, the alcoholic that nearly choked me to death, and the bullies who retaliated against me for blowing the whistle in the Veteran Affairs were not my worst enemies—I was my own worst enemy! That’s right.   My past negative thoughts formed a belief system that I was not worthy and I was not deserving. Thank goodness, I can laugh at all my lessons I overcame from my past. Isn’t it time to “own” your old stories, instead of your stories “owning” you?  Hell yeah!

You can purchase the “right” clothes and the “right” car (ok…truck in my case), but underneath it all, you have to love who you are and what you are doing in this world.  If there is pain behind your superficial smile, it’s time to get to work and become an empowered and self-loving individual. Hire a coach and bust through those “blocks” in your life that keep you in fear and insecure.   Don’t tell me you can’t afford a coach, unless you really cannot afford one.   For I will tell you that you cannot afford not to hire a coach if you are miserable or stuck in your life. The cost of living a “small” life or not getting what you want out of your life is very costly.   I saw the value in hiring a business coach and made appropriate changes in my life so that I could afford this investment in my life. You have to consciously invest in yourself and you must believe in yourself, more than others believe in you!

The benefits I received from hiring a  coach was that I began to see why I had made “bad” choices in my life and I was able to “shift” consciously to align with a better belief system. There were quite a few “aha” moments and awareness that I could make better choices in my life. I took immediate action and “shifted” my life very quickly. The investment in myself, not only improved my practice, but it positively affected my spiritual and personal life.   A coach can really help a client see what has been holding them back in their business and personal life.

Furthermore, a coach can help the client formulate a plan of action so that they are in alignment with reaching their goals and dreams.  Often times, all you need is a change of view on your belief systems. If you are doing the same thing, over and over, and not getting the results you want—it’s time to do something different. Don’t you think? When I overcame my own old “stories” and claimed my personal power that is when people really noticed me and many new “doors” opened for me. There is so much goodness in this world and it’s time to realize it! Sound good? I would love seeing a lot of happy people on this earth. What a win-win! Bring it on!

I would love to help you realize your goals and “bust” through the walls that have confined you and have made you a prisoner of yourself.   I help clients by phone, Skype, Google Hangouts or in person.  First time clients can receive a $40.00 (45 minute) “break-though” to success strategy with me by contacting me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact   By the way, be sure to be part of my newsletter community. I will be sending a complimentary copy of my first chapter in my book to everyone on my newsletter mail list. Join here: Dawn’s Newsletter

I will be sharing my own “story” of gloom and doom and how I “divorced” my victimhood. Today, I speak, write, “coach”, and get interviewed on radio/TV for the work I am doing to empower people. I am teaching workshops to help others become happier and liberated in their lives.   I can also be reached to discuss interviews, workshops, coaching, and speaking engagements at Reach out to Dawn

Who Stole Your “Personal Power” from You?  Five Tips for Recovery

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Dawn Westmoreland Full size picture(2)Are you constantly worried about what others think of you or that you won’t fit in with certain groups?  Do you “give in” easily to other people’s demands or you have given up hope that you will ever be truly heard?   As human beings in a spiritual body, I know that many of you have experienced it—giving away your “personal power”.    You have taken the unappreciative comments from another person or you have felt “isolated even though you are in a crowd of people.  It’s one of the worst feelings in the world.

Garbage men are often looked down upon from some people who feel they have achieved a “higher” status in life.  When I lived in Southern France for eight months, the garbage men went on strike for higher pay and better “holiday” time off.  I will never ever forget it.  They went on strike for one month and refused to pick up any trash till they got their demands.  I will not describe the smell or tell you what it looked like.  We all know what kitchens smell like if we don’t get the trash out in a timely manner.  Those garbage men got everything they wanted and I must say, I was secretly impressed and happy for them.

So often we give away our “personal power” and don’t realize why we are not being treated with respect.   You must believe in yourself, more than others believe in you.  If you are not being treated with respect, there may be a chance that you don’t respect your own self.  Hey it happens!  Been there myself and got the tee-shirt.  I also burned that darn tee-shirt a while ago.  I learned the hard way to find my own self-love and self-respect.   I am always excited to help others find it a whole lot faster than I did.  It’s time to burn that tee-shirt if you have it.  Let’s dive in and take action to stop giving away your “personal power”.

First,   Part of being a human being is feeling valued, appreciated, and having a sense of belonging.  There is no one on this earth that is more valuable than you or deserves more than you do.  That’s right!  We are all God’ children and if you have a different faith or belief, than choose your “source”.  Slow down a little in your life and notice the “signs” that are always there that tell you that you are connected to the divine and you are never ever alone on this earth.   I am constantly finding these “signs” and it was only when I really slowed down that I began to notice them.   Are you going so fast that you need to take yourself off of autopilot? Our society has conditioned us to go-go-go all the time and many times you are just being “busy” and really not as productive as you would like to be in your life.

Second, on this earth, you must put yourself first, before others.  There are so many people “serving” others and they are burning out because they are not nurturing themselves and practicing self-care.  Compare it to driving a car for a long time and not maintaining it.  The car will break down eventually because it was not maintained.  You must fulfill your needs first, so you can respond and care for others.  You may be more “driven” or motivated than your spouse or partner, you cannot change them, but you can change yourself.   And you must take action to fulfill your future or you will most likely experience being “uncomfortable” or that things are not working out the way you want them to be.  Sometimes we have to experience misery or being uncomfortable so that we are “prompted” to be in alignment with our life purpose.  This is no joke.  Being in the mental health ward for three days was the best “gift” ever for me.  I realized I was working in a job that was totally unfulfilling and working with people who had very low energies.   It “shifted” me quickly to train in a year-long program to be a Life Coach.  What a “gift”!

Third, stop worrying what others will think of you.  They are responsible for their actions and emotions.   You must be fair and considerate to others, as it is always the right thing to do.  If you compassionately share some unpleasant news and the other person cries or gets mad, it probably means that they have some “unresolved” issues in their life that they need to heal or resolve.  They may have been hurt in the past from a bad experience and it is still “unresolved” and eating away at them.  Each of us has to “heal” ourselves and make amends with issues that have harmed or hurt us.  We cannot “will” away some one else’s hurt or pain.  We can be there for them and show support, but we cannot do the work for them.  There is no magic pill.  Healing or forgiving others can be hard work, but definitely worth it in the long run.

Fourth, if you are seeking answers from everyone else, but yourself.  Stop it right now!   You have an opinion and an “expert adviser” in you for many of the answers you are seeking.  Stop asking someone else about how you should handle your affairs, unless you are seeking professional advice that you truly need.  I see this over and over with people. They will ask me what I think about a matter involving them.   I will turn it around in an empowering question and ask, “How are you giving away your personal power” to me when you know better than I, what is best for you.  I never give advice to people.  I will provide information that could be valuable to them, but want others to feel empowered because they become their own leader and take charge of their life.  Think about it yourself—how do you give away your own “personal power”?  When you realize it–that is the first step.   Now take appropriate action for yourself.

Fifth, I use to run track in high school.  I was pretty good too.  I was running a race and I looked back and that was all it took to slow me down and the other runner won the race.  I was so disappointed in myself that day.  My coach and my mother told me later, that if I had not looked back, I would have won the race. How often are you comparing yourself with others or you are feeling insecure because someone is further down the “track” than where you are at this time?  Often times, people who are successful will open up their wings more and take more risks in life.   They don’t play small and they are competing against themselves so they can be their very best.  Just keep your eyes on the goal and outcome you want in life. Stop comparing yourself and getting upset if someone else is doing better than you.  They have bad days too!  Consider this—what is the most loving and empowering thing you can do today, to help you achieve your goals or live the life you deserve?

I am about to create a “confidence” hypnosis/meditation MP3 soon.   If you have never experienced hypnosis—it’s simply a guided meditation designed to relax you while you benefit from suggestions provided.   If you want to get a copy, be sure to sign up for my newsletter.   I offer complimentary products from time to time, and only in my newsletter.  Sign up for my newsletter at http://eepurl.com/8vFN1   The “confidence” MP3 will be included in my next newsletter.

Here is to your “Empowerment” and a great week!

Warmly,

Dawn Westmoreland

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Why Fear is Important in our Lives

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Why is it that we dislike being “fearful”? Why do we allow it to hold us “hostage” in our lives? I am not writing about fear of “rational” things like poisonous snakes and matters of safety.   More like, living small because of the “inner bully” in ourselves that wants to keep us small and protected by not living our soul’s calling with great joy. Often times our “inner critic” will try to serve us in ways that are not for our highest good. For example, when I began to train as a Life Coach, I knew that I was going to be doing work that I am passionate about, but I also was nervous about going “BIG” because I am an introvert. OK—an “extroverted” introvert to be more accurate.

Admitting raw and real stories about my past was the hardest thing for me to do, but yet, I do write and talk about them. I share with others about being sexually molested as a child, childhood/adult bullying, an alcoholic marriage, and landing in the Mental Health ward after dealing with two years of horrendous bullying for being a Veteran Affairs “Whistleblower”. As I wrote about these events in my book, there was a part of me that wanted to “hide” under the bed and not share these events with others. Part of me was fearful and it felt scary to be so authentic about these circumstances in my life. While these feelings were distressful and fearful to me, I received the message, “Yes, you can do this and you are going to help a lot of people by telling your story and how you overcame your own dis-empowerment”.

When I worked in the Midatlantic Consolidated Patient Accounting Center (MACPAC), which is a division of the Veteran Affairs in West Asheville, NC, I witnessed a lot of fearful people who were afraid to speak out about the nepotism (illegal hiring of family & friends) and other prohibited personnel actions that were going on in this VA agency. It made me sick to see the fear on these people’s faces and I knew that when I turned in the management of the MACPAC, that I would be paying a high price. I did it anyway. Yes—I was fearful, but in the large picture of that event, I knew that it was important to change the unfair hiring practices and expose the bullying that happened when conscientious “whistleblowers” like myself turn these illegal practices in to government agencies that handle these matters.

I could have done nothing and then everything would remain the same in my former job, within the MACPAC. While feeling scared and knowing so many people would turn against me, I turned in my management to the Office of Special Counsel in Washington D.C. and to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) in Charlotte, NC. Why was I fearful? Because I turned in over 15 people for prohibited personnel actions and they ganged up on me very quickly. While being fearful, I still held them accountable and “settled” with the Veteran Affairs in March 2014, without a “gag order”.   Often I get asked how I can tell my story when I settled with the Veteran Affairs. I can tell my story because I refused to sign a settlement with the VA that would keep me quiet. The VA attorneys finally agreed to this settlement, two days before the EEOC hearing. Moving through all of my fear made me a “victor” in the end.

We are always going to feel “fear”. It is what we do with it that counts. We can stay stuck or we can move through it. How we deal with “fear” is important.   Do we listen to our “inner critic” that says to play small, stay silent, stay hidden and don’t take chances? Or do we listen to our soul that says to keep moving through our “fears” and to follow our soul’s purpose for being on this earth? We get to choose how we deal with fear. The reason why fear is so important in our life is because we get to “play” bigger in our lives if we move through our fears.   First, fear can inspire us to take positive action.   Fear can push us to take the actions we need in our life and create wonderful opportunities.   Second, we can become “liberated” when we move through our fears and accomplish worthy goals. It can push us out of our comfort zone and created a new life for us if we allow it to happen. Third, fear can build our confidence because when we do something positive that makes us fearful, it can make us stronger and more confident.   So, anytime we are dealing with “fear”, consider what side of fear we want to be on— the “empowered” side or the “victim” side.  For I am not letting the “inner critic” in my head win.   I am heading to the Vancouver area to do a workshop on “Overcoming Fear” with my friend, Wendy McClelland on Sept 26th, 2015.   I am hoping you will want to become more empowered and live the life you are supposed to live on this earth.

If you would like to learn more about “overcoming” your old “stories” and moving through fear, check out my book, “The Empowered Whistleblower: A Practical and Spiritual Path to Personal Power” at http://getbook.at/Dawn   You can also get a complimentary copy of my first chapter at www.TheEmpoweredWhistleblower.comDawn looking to the side with mike

Kind People Can Stand Up to Bullying

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According to The Bully Institute, http://www.workplacebullying.org/tag/bullying-statistics/ the person who gets targeted the most in the workplace is the person who is considered kind and compassionate. Yikes, what if that is you in the workplace? Well, it was me when I worked in the Midatlantic Consolidated Patient Accounting Center (MACPAC), which is a Veteran Affairs organization in West Asheville, North Carolina.  Years ago, when I worked there,  I was asked by my former management to run an employee assistance program that would help MACPAC employees when they had economic issues that would come up. I was known for my “humanitarian” skills and for caring about other people.

Even though I consider myself a kind and compassionate person, I am a no-nonsense person when it comes to bullying or any kind of mistreatment in the workplace. Everyone is entitled to work in a safe environment and where they are treated with respect. After working 20 years in the Air Force as a female, I learned to be assertive when needed. That skill has come in handy many times in my life. I have never had a problem in being a “nice” person, but you must do so with healthy boundaries too. Let me explain. While I am a nice person, I held my bullies accountable and reported them to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and “settled” in March 2014. I held my “ground” and had great documentation—I “settled” with the Veteran Affairs without a “gag order” that would prevent me from telling my story. How often do you hear about that? You can be nice and you can also stand in your “personal power”.

Your presence and your demeanor tells everyone how you feel about yourself. If you carry yourself with dignity and grace, that is the way you are generally perceived by others. Bullies, who generally have low self-esteem, can pick up your energy and know that you may be an easy target to harass. They generally go after the people they deem as weak.  I realize that there are many kind and “sensitive” souls who have dealt with hardships in their life—divorce, death, bullying, etc. It’s part of your own journey to become your greatest self, but only if you learn your lessons or experience self-growth from these experiences.

If your old “stories” are “owning” you, instead of you “owning” your old stories, then it’s time to heal your past. Nurturing old wounds and not healing them is a sure way to stay small and stuck in your life. You must let go of your “hurtful” past so you can fully live the life you deserve! You can reach out to a trusted clergy person, a coach, mentor, therapist or anyone who is reputable and will help you heal your past. If you want to be truly “free” in your life, you must forgive the perpetrators in your life and let go of your old “stories”. You are forgiving them for your own “healthy” reasons—to move on with your life and heal.

I spent many years dealing with self-loathing and insecurities because I was molested as a young child. After I dealt with forgiving the perpetrator and working on my own self-development, I really found my “inner strength” and began to realize I could now help others because I am on the “other” side. I will admit—it was not easy, but it was worth it! In the past, I have lived in fancy houses and had many materialistic things in my life, but I was not happy. I had attracted an “alcoholic” into my life and my home felt like a “prison” back in those days.   I did not realize at that time, that I was looking through the “lens” of a victim and someone who had not found their “personal power”.   I had attracted many negative things in my life because I had felt “hopeless” and very insecure back then. That has changed, because I took 100% charge of my life and began to “cut” out negative people out of my life as much as possible. I carefully discern on who I want as friends today and it really makes a big difference for me. Today, I have never had more “freedom” and peace in my life. You deserve it too!

Let me share a webinar, which is now a video, I made about “Commanding Respect in Your Life”. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oV12-pzac4   More free resources at  www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com

 

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“The Real Cost of Being Beautiful”

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Dawn in iPEC schoolSometimes people will “go the extra mile” in efforts to be beautiful. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, 15.1 million cosmetic procedures were performed in 2013, which is a 3% increase from the previous year. Of these procedures, most of them — 13.4 million — were minimally invasive procedures, like botox injections and chemical peels. But a large number of people — around 1.6 million — went under the knife to have invasive procedures, like breast augmentation surgeries, nose reshaping surgeries, and liposuction surgeries, according to http://www.cheatsheet.com/personal-finance/how-much-do-we-spend-on-beauty.html

Now, I know that most of us want to look our best, but how much of this obsessions is pure insecurity in ourselves. It really “pains” me to see women chasing after “beauty” as if it will truly make them more confident. Let’s face it, when you take off your makeup or your garments that perform some miracle, you are the “real you”. I am not putting down makeup or looking your best, by no means! It’s when you become obsessed with “beauty” and it runs your life, I think there is a concern.

Do we ask men to get “implants”? Seriously! I heard that comment last night when I was at the Millrun for a comedy show featuring Vince Morris. Vince was taunting the women in his audience about their obsession with their views and unrelentless desire for plastic surgery and trying to be perfect. He had me on the end of my seat! I totally get his humor and his raw “truth” about the obsession of beauty.

I went to Miami, Florida last September to finish my third module of coaching with iPEC. I forgot to take a couple of makeup items and realized it down the road. I realized how perfectly comfortable I was without makeup and the need to impress another human being. I could have gone to a drug store and bought some makeup, but I chose not to because I am about the “beauty” inside me. But—don’t get me wrong, I do value looking great, but not at the cost of being obsessed with it.  The picture above proves that I have no makeup on and I am still a happy girl!  So, I may have been one of the few women in Miami (at this time) who had absolute no makeup on and was just perfectly fine with it!

As a teenager, I went to a high-end modeling agency in Jacksonville, Florida. I was told that I had the “looks” to be a high-fashion model.  My father was very handsome and my mother also gave me some very good genes too. I mean—I was 5’10” and about 120 lbs. when soaking wet. I was jumping up and down for joy, and that came to a halt when my mother told me in her own words—“It is not going to happen!” That probably was a beautiful gift from my mother at this time.

Most of my life has been about helping others and advocacy. I value inner beauty and kindness.  I went many years without wearing makeup and declining “miracle” garments that would somehow make me look “different”. I had spent too many years feeling insecure because of my childhood woes to let that insecurity back into my life as an adult chasing after “beauty”.

If you would spend the money to hire a coach or hypnotherapist that could help you feel better about yourself—that is beautiful! A coach or a hypnotherapist can get down to the “root” of your problem and help you “overcome” it so you can feel better about yourself. In my practice, I don’t just hypnotize someone and they are “confident”. There is never a magic “blue pill”.   I intuitively ask empowering questions so I know more about the “blocks” that people have that make them feel less beautiful or insecure. Together, whether in coaching or hypnotherapy, I work with each client to get “positive affirmation/results” that they want in their session. It’s always about the client—not what I want for them.  It’s their agenda.

If you work on becoming more secure and stop paying attention to marketing that is targeted to “insecure” women, who will buy about anything to make themselves feel better about themselves, you will find the reflection in the mirror to be more beautiful. Trust me on this! There is a trend with the women I work with–they all want more confidence. I even see it with men too. Wouldn’t you agree, that confident and positive women are far more attractive than one who is externally attractive, but feels insecure?

I share with this group my “Confidence building” hypnosis/meditation I made at http://DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/blog/ . I can work with individuals that want a more “tailored” session with me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com

Phone, Google hangouts, or Skype work out just fine if it can’t be done in person. Here is to being “beautiful” you– inside and outside—because you are!

“How to Shine Out the Darkness in Your Life”

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We all deal with it—negative people, events, and situations and it can be draining, hurtful, and down-right nasty sometimes.  Let’s face it, there are people out there who are hurt, have not healed from their “issues”, and may be stuck in a “rut”.  These people may hurl insults or be negative around you.  It can be a surprise to see a grown man or women acting badly, but it happens all the time.  It even happens to me.  One of the best “tools” I have learned is to spread “white light” when there is negativity.  Let me explain.   Many spiritual people believe that white light is the space within the universe where positive energies are stored and can be released.  You can call upon it anytime and in any place.  People who are “empaths” may be one of the first people to notice or sense negative energies around them.  Empaths are very sensitive people who can often “feel” emotional energy from other people or even in physical spaces.

I have been very sensitive and an “empath” all my life.  I have continued to become more sensitive as I have gotten older too.    This can be great when you are a healer or work with people like I do as a Personal Power Coach.   On the other hand, it can be draining if you are picking up negative energy that a person puts out.  You don’t even have to be physically around them and you can still “feel” the negative energy.   Everything is energy and so are thoughts.  I can sense the energy of many things and I am not alone.  There are other empaths out there too and they may need a little help in negating energy that is not so pure and nice.  Plants need light to grow and we as human need light to thrive.  We live in a world that does have “darkness” and I will gladly share a tool to help you spread “white light” so you can help remove darkness and negative energy from your life.  This is a tool that one of my mentors, Martha Juchnowski taught me for my own usage and really does work!

First, imagine that you have white light emanating from your heart.  The heart puts out more energy than the brain does. Researchers have actually measured this with machines that can measure energy.   The heart is very powerful.  When you are imagining white light coming from your heart, begin to visualize it getting bigger and bigger so that it is now all of you and expanding around you.   You can make this “white light” as big as you want.  You can spread it in your house or in a friend’s house for example.  I do my own “white light” version with all of my loved ones and all of our pets, every single day. It works.  I visualize placing white light in their homes, all around their homes, their workplaces, and around their neighborhoods too.

Don’tDawn in Sylva, NC panic if you are not good at visualizing—that does not matter!  It’s all about intention and every thought is energy too.  So, basically you are sending love and light out when you are doing this.  When you do this you are spreading goodness, love, and pure energy.  Darkness and negative energy can’t live in a loving and pure environment.  It has to leave! It’s the law of the universe and I called that—God.  I have imagined white light spreading in a loved one’s entire house.  Later that day they informed me that the air felt so light and maybe it was the weather.   I can assure you that the weather in that neighborhood was rain for the past three days and that does not make the air seem “lighter”.

Try it sometime—shine white light around you, your pets, your home, your work space, and where ever you need it.  It cannot hurt anyone or harm them.  You may notice that people become happier or more at peace.  To me it seems miraculous, but I have seen some pretty cool stuff as a result of me shining white light on people, places, and situations.  You never do it with the intention of harming or hurting someone.  It cannot do that!  It just makes the energy around the person more pure and loving.  When you are emitting love or good energy, you are pushing away negativity.  People feel better and I bet you will too.  Love is powerful!

“The Leadership of Energy”

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While I was attending training to become a coach with the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), I learned from their coaching program that there are seven levels of energy. You can learn more about iPEC at www.ipeccoaching.com  The founder of this wonderful coaching school is Dr. Bruce D. Schneider.  Let’s talk about energy.  Everything is energy—our clothes, our cars, and even our personal thoughts.  There are also two types of energy:  anabolic and catabolic.   Anabolic energy is healing, productive, positive, and growth-oriented. While catabolic energy is contracting, draining, and resistant.   If you feel like a “victim’ or feel “hopeless”, that is catabolic energy.  While you feel like a victim, you perception may be distorted and affect the choices that you make.   If you are non-judgmental and feel passionate about your life, you may be at the high-end of the energy levels.

If you feel fear, guilt, worry, self-doubt or have low self-esteem, you will be operating at the lowest level of energy and feel like a “victim”.  Feeling this low, makes you susceptible to feeling helpless and avoiding confrontation.  You may feel like you are “losing”.  This is a highly destructive energy level.  You may notice that you are attracting other “victim-like” people in your life because “like” attracts “like”.   But you don’t have to be a “victim” or feel like you don’t have choices in your life. You can raise your energy levels by becoming more “empowered”.

As you move up the energy levels, you may experience what is known as level two energy.  This is where a person may want to manage others by force or control.   A person may want to project blame on others.  It’s an “I win and you lose” situation in this energy level.  It is certainly better than being a victim, but it’s still catabolic energy that is draining you.  Do you really want to have level two energy?

Level three energy is an entry-level of anabolic energy, which is productive energy and more uplifting.  A person may take responsibilities for their thoughts, actions, and emotions.  They realize they have a choice in the matter and take accountability for this state of being.  This is an “I win, and hopefully you win, too” energy.  A person can motivate themselves and others through forgiving others, being more tolerant, and compromising with others.

When you have a level four energy, you take little or nothing personally and are able to be more objective.  There is more of a “You win” going on and a “service” before self-mentality.  This kind of energy lends to compassion for others and inspiration to serve others.  This fosters team work, loyalty, and collaboration with others.   It is definitely a high level of energy that lends to you becoming more successful and making a difference in this world.

Some of the greatest leaders in this world have a level five energy, which is a “We all win or no one wins” mentality.   The people who possess this energy tend to be calm, confident entrepreneurial, and powerful.  There is a sense of being in control of your life and destiny.   There are no challenges, but every experience in life is an opportunity for self-growth.  One of the core thoughts is that a person is “accepting” of others and does not try to change them.

Level six energy is an energy where a person sees everyone and everything as an extension of themselves.   Their intuition is very active and people possessing this energy can tap into being a creative geniuses and they are visionaries, along with being a conscious leader.   The mentality is “We always win”.  The feeling are of permanent joy, satisfaction and pleasure.  There is a great sense of connection with everything and everyone.

The highest level of energy is one that is characterized by complete objective thinking, being fearless, and are non-judgmental.   A person with this kind of energy can view things with complete objectivity.  The mentality for this energy level is “Winning and losing are illusions”.  It is hard to imagine that concept, but with practice you can achieve it.   Leaders who possess this energy are “masters” in their world and consciously co-create their life experiences.   These are the most powerful leaders in the world.

There are always advantages and disadvantages of each energy level.  Everyone can experience level one energy (Catabolic energy aka “victimhood”) at times and also experience level four energy (Anabolic/where you take nothing personal) too.   Your overall average of your energy levels can dictate how successful you are in your personal life and in your business.  Generally, the higher your energy levels, the more satisfied you are in your relationships, finances, personal self-growth, and your achievements.

It is great to have an awareness of who you are, you level of “consciousness” and how you act in your life.  If you are interested in learning more about the leadership of energy and how to determine where you “fit” in with these energy levels, you can request more information at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact    Just remember that every experience in our life is not a “challenge”, but an opportunity to grow and learn.  If you can truly accept and embrace that, you are raising your energy leadership.  Here is to an “empowering” 2015 and taking action to realize your dreams and Dawn and Virtuegoals this year!

“Loving the Unlovable”–tips on empowerment

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What a title! Can you relate? I sure can! I bet you know of someone in your life that drives you crazy and you would rather avoid them, then deal with their trauma and drama. When this person(s) enters the room, you feel your blood boil, your stomach cramp or you feel nauseous because this person can be very manipulative or narcistic. They may even be an “energy vampire” too, the kind of person that “drains” your energy with their presence and behavior, I have dealt with this experience myself and use to lose a lot of sleep over the raDawn pic for Newlife64ntings and manipulative behavior of a “energy vampire”. This person drove me crazy with rage and disgust because I felt they were continuously taking advantage of a loved one.

I realized that my “clairsentience”, which is intuition in the form of emotional input, gut feeling or physical feeling and my “Claircognizance”, which is when intuitive information just pops into your head, was developing and I had a sense of “knowing” about things and people. It drove me nuts and I wanted others to experience these insights like I did. We all have intuitive gifts. They are different for each person, but we all have intuitive gifts. It’s a matter of accepting these “gifts” and be open to them too. Once you are, be ready for your “gifts”.   These tools are invaluable if used correctly and they can be of great benefit in your personal life and business. I don’t claim to be psychic, but have different levels of intuitive “gifts” and I am grateful for them. I love using my “gifts” to help others.

Getting back to the “unlovable” people in your life. It has taken me many years to realize that these people can be the greatest “spiritual teachers” in your life. I have suffered and anguished over these kinds of people, until I was able to “let go” and trust that there is a reason for “unlovable” people in my life. They can teach you patience, standing up for yourself, and trusting that they are in your life for a “divine” reason. They can bring you closer to God or whatever source you are close to and they can also provide the best lessons in life. The “unlovable” are in your life for a reason—take time to discern over this and realize you have the opportunity of improving your spirituality and personal growth.  You get to choose and life is all about choices. I continually repeat this in most of my blogs.

The “unlovable” can come into your loved ones lives to teach them lessons and even you.   Since “like” attracts “like”, it can bring a narcistic/manipulative person to a person who has low self-esteem and may continually get treated with dis-respect. Once you are able to raise your energy levels and find self-respect, you will notice that the people in your life are “matching” your energy levels and your self-esteem.   That is why it is so important to work on self-development so you can experience the best relationships with others in your life.   Until then, you must set healthy “boundaries” in your life. That simply means that you cannot allow others to dis-respect you and take advantage of you. I love Doreen Virtue’s new book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels”. I have read this book twice and highly recommend it to others who deal with “unlovable” people. Once you know how to deal with all kinds of people, life gets less messy and uncomplicated. Until you stand up for yourself and show your own self some R.E.S.P.E.C.T., you may find yourself repeating old behaviors that attract the “unlovable” in your life.

Now, I know we cannot pick our family members, but we can choose our friends very wisely. The five people we hang out with the most each day will have a profound effect on you. They will affect you personally, financially, and spiritually. Don’t beat yourself up on past experiences with “unlovable” people. Just learn the “lessons”, become more empowered and never stop growing—spiritually.   The worst people in my life have helped me to get closer to God and improve my own spirituality. Now, that is empowering! The “unlovable” can be loved, but sometimes it may have to be at a distance and with a lot of praying for ease and grace to be in your life.   Just remember they teach you many things in your life. They are not a challenge to you, but an opportunity to learn and grow. So, let it happen!

Who is Your Best Friend?

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Dawn smaller pictureIs the reflection in the mirror your best friend or worst ? I hope it is your best friend. There may be times that you think another person may be your enemy, but often times, the worst enemy can be yourself. I know this so well! No one has ever been meaner or mistreated me more than myself. The man who molested me as a child, the bullies in school, the alcoholic that nearly choked me to death, and the bullies who retaliated against me for blowing the whistle in the Veteran Affairs were not my worst enemies—I was my own worst enemy! That’s right.   My past negative thoughts formed a belief system that I was not worthy and I was not deserving. Thank goodness, I can laugh at all my lessons I overcame from my past. Isn’t it time to “own” your old stories, instead of your stories “owning” you?  Hell yeah!

You can purchase the “right” clothes and the “right” car (ok…truck in my case), but underneath it all, you have to love who you are and what you are doing in this world.  If there is pain behind your superficial smile, it’s time to get to work and become an empowered and self-loving individual. Hire a coach and bust through those “blocks” in your life that keep you in fear and insecure.   Don’t tell me you can’t afford a coach, unless you really cannot afford one.   For I will tell you that you cannot afford not to hire a coach if you are miserable or stuck in your life. The cost of living a “small” life or not getting what you want out of your life is very costly.   I saw the value in hiring a business coach and made appropriate changes in my life so that I could afford this investment in my life. You have to consciously invest in yourself and you must believe in yourself, more than others believe in you!

The benefits I received from hiring a  coach was that I began to see why I had made “bad” choices in my life and I was able to “shift” consciously to align with a better belief system. There were quite a few “aha” moments and awareness that I could make better choices in my life. I took immediate action and “shifted” my life very quickly. The investment in myself, not only improved my practice, but it positively affected my spiritual and personal life.   A coach can really help a client see what has been holding them back in their business and personal life.

Furthermore, a coach can help the client formulate a plan of action so that they are in alignment with reaching their goals and dreams.  Often times, all you need is a change of view on your belief systems. If you are doing the same thing, over and over, and not getting the results you want—it’s time to do something different. Don’t you think? When I overcame my own old “stories” and claimed my personal power that is when people really noticed me and many new “doors” opened for me. There is so much goodness in this world and it’s time to realize it! Sound good? I would love seeing a lot of happy people on this earth. What a win-win! Bring it on!

I would love to help you realize your goals and “bust” through the walls that have confined you and have made you a prisoner of yourself.   I help clients by phone, Skype, Google Hangouts or in person.  First time clients can receive a $40.00 (45 minute) “break-though” to success strategy with me by contacting me at www.DawnMarieWestmoreland.com/contact   By the way, be sure to be part of my newsletter community. I will be sending a complimentary copy of my first chapter in my book to everyone on my newsletter mail list. Join here: Dawn’s Newsletter

I will be sharing my own “story” of gloom and doom and how I “divorced” my victimhood. Today, I speak, write, “coach”, and get interviewed on radio/TV for the work I am doing to empower people. I am teaching workshops to help others become happier and liberated in their lives.   I can also be reached to discuss interviews, workshops, coaching, and speaking engagements at Reach out to Dawn

Who Stole Your “Personal Power” from You?  Five Tips for Recovery

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Dawn Westmoreland Full size picture(2)Are you constantly worried about what others think of you or that you won’t fit in with certain groups?  Do you “give in” easily to other people’s demands or you have given up hope that you will ever be truly heard?   As human beings in a spiritual body, I know that many of you have experienced it—giving away your “personal power”.    You have taken the unappreciative comments from another person or you have felt “isolated even though you are in a crowd of people.  It’s one of the worst feelings in the world.

Garbage men are often looked down upon from some people who feel they have achieved a “higher” status in life.  When I lived in Southern France for eight months, the garbage men went on strike for higher pay and better “holiday” time off.  I will never ever forget it.  They went on strike for one month and refused to pick up any trash till they got their demands.  I will not describe the smell or tell you what it looked like.  We all know what kitchens smell like if we don’t get the trash out in a timely manner.  Those garbage men got everything they wanted and I must say, I was secretly impressed and happy for them.

So often we give away our “personal power” and don’t realize why we are not being treated with respect.   You must believe in yourself, more than others believe in you.  If you are not being treated with respect, there may be a chance that you don’t respect your own self.  Hey it happens!  Been there myself and got the tee-shirt.  I also burned that darn tee-shirt a while ago.  I learned the hard way to find my own self-love and self-respect.   I am always excited to help others find it a whole lot faster than I did.  It’s time to burn that tee-shirt if you have it.  Let’s dive in and take action to stop giving away your “personal power”.

First,   Part of being a human being is feeling valued, appreciated, and having a sense of belonging.  There is no one on this earth that is more valuable than you or deserves more than you do.  That’s right!  We are all God’ children and if you have a different faith or belief, than choose your “source”.  Slow down a little in your life and notice the “signs” that are always there that tell you that you are connected to the divine and you are never ever alone on this earth.   I am constantly finding these “signs” and it was only when I really slowed down that I began to notice them.   Are you going so fast that you need to take yourself off of autopilot? Our society has conditioned us to go-go-go all the time and many times you are just being “busy” and really not as productive as you would like to be in your life.

Second, on this earth, you must put yourself first, before others.  There are so many people “serving” others and they are burning out because they are not nurturing themselves and practicing self-care.  Compare it to driving a car for a long time and not maintaining it.  The car will break down eventually because it was not maintained.  You must fulfill your needs first, so you can respond and care for others.  You may be more “driven” or motivated than your spouse or partner, you cannot change them, but you can change yourself.   And you must take action to fulfill your future or you will most likely experience being “uncomfortable” or that things are not working out the way you want them to be.  Sometimes we have to experience misery or being uncomfortable so that we are “prompted” to be in alignment with our life purpose.  This is no joke.  Being in the mental health ward for three days was the best “gift” ever for me.  I realized I was working in a job that was totally unfulfilling and working with people who had very low energies.   It “shifted” me quickly to train in a year-long program to be a Life Coach.  What a “gift”!

Third, stop worrying what others will think of you.  They are responsible for their actions and emotions.   You must be fair and considerate to others, as it is always the right thing to do.  If you compassionately share some unpleasant news and the other person cries or gets mad, it probably means that they have some “unresolved” issues in their life that they need to heal or resolve.  They may have been hurt in the past from a bad experience and it is still “unresolved” and eating away at them.  Each of us has to “heal” ourselves and make amends with issues that have harmed or hurt us.  We cannot “will” away some one else’s hurt or pain.  We can be there for them and show support, but we cannot do the work for them.  There is no magic pill.  Healing or forgiving others can be hard work, but definitely worth it in the long run.

Fourth, if you are seeking answers from everyone else, but yourself.  Stop it right now!   You have an opinion and an “expert adviser” in you for many of the answers you are seeking.  Stop asking someone else about how you should handle your affairs, unless you are seeking professional advice that you truly need.  I see this over and over with people. They will ask me what I think about a matter involving them.   I will turn it around in an empowering question and ask, “How are you giving away your personal power” to me when you know better than I, what is best for you.  I never give advice to people.  I will provide information that could be valuable to them, but want others to feel empowered because they become their own leader and take charge of their life.  Think about it yourself—how do you give away your own “personal power”?  When you realize it–that is the first step.   Now take appropriate action for yourself.

Fifth, I use to run track in high school.  I was pretty good too.  I was running a race and I looked back and that was all it took to slow me down and the other runner won the race.  I was so disappointed in myself that day.  My coach and my mother told me later, that if I had not looked back, I would have won the race. How often are you comparing yourself with others or you are feeling insecure because someone is further down the “track” than where you are at this time?  Often times, people who are successful will open up their wings more and take more risks in life.   They don’t play small and they are competing against themselves so they can be their very best.  Just keep your eyes on the goal and outcome you want in life. Stop comparing yourself and getting upset if someone else is doing better than you.  They have bad days too!  Consider this—what is the most loving and empowering thing you can do today, to help you achieve your goals or live the life you deserve?

I am about to create a “confidence” hypnosis/meditation MP3 soon.   If you have never experienced hypnosis—it’s simply a guided meditation designed to relax you while you benefit from suggestions provided.   If you want to get a copy, be sure to sign up for my newsletter.   I offer complimentary products from time to time, and only in my newsletter.  Sign up for my newsletter at http://eepurl.com/8vFN1   The “confidence” MP3 will be included in my next newsletter.

Here is to your “Empowerment” and a great week!

Warmly,

Dawn Westmoreland

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